The Megillah of Annie, Chapter 2

by Kass

Written for Purimgifts 2013.

"Annie," Abed says, cornering her in the lunch line. "I overheard something."

"What kind of something?" Annie's immediately concerned. Gossip about the school glee club? A tip about Friday's test? She never knows what Abed's going to pull out of his sleeve, but he sounds agitated, and that worries her.

"Leonard and his gang." Abed leans in conspiratorially. "They're plotting to use Leonard's special intern key to get into the Dean's office and throw one of their wild poker parties."

"Oh no!" Annie claps her hand over her mouth. Everybody knows about Leonard's poker parties. They've been banned from campus three times. He always seems to get out of trouble by suddenly acting like an old guy who's too confused to realize he's breaking the rules, but he's totally just playing everybody.

"And worst of all," Abed adds, "he was trash-talking Cougartown."

"Oh, Abed, no," Annie commiserates.

"Did somebody mention cougars?" That's Pierce, sidling up behind them. "Did I ever tell you about this totally hot babe I banged at the--"

"Pierce, shut up," Britta says, joining them near the soup counter. "First of all, that's backwards -- a cougar is a woman who goes for younger men, not older ones. And secondly, you're gross."

"It's Leonard," Annie explains. "He's planning an illegal poker game in the Dean's office."

"What?" Pierce sounds genuinely outraged for a second. "Why isn't he inviting me?"

"Totally not the point," Britta sniffs.

Starburns coughs pointedly next to Pierce. "Are you guys going to get lunch, or are you just going to block the soup line? Some of us have class to attend today."

"Right, sorry," Annie says, clutching her tray and beginning to walk on.

"You have to tell the Dean," Abed says urgently as he follows her toward the salad bar.

Annie knows he's right, but she doesn't want to tattle to the Dean. A childhood of being the goody-two-shoes who always told on people, followed by an adolescence peppered with pills, have given her an ambiguous relationship to that kind of thing. Still, Abed's right that the Dean does need to know...

"I'll send him a text," she decides, and Abed nods.

"Good plan. Thanks, Annie."

"I'll tell him you're the one who saved his office from ruin," she calls as Abed carries his tray over to the hot lunch counter, and he flashes her a thumbs-up.

She texts the Dean, eats her salad, and then goes to the Dean's office to file some papers. So she just happens to be there when the Dean calls Leonard into his office. She grins to herself but keeps thumbing through the manila files, not wanting Leonard to see her face.

"What should I do," the Dean says to Leonard, "for a student I want to honor?"

"Give me -- I mean, give him unlimited desserts in the lunch line," Leonard says instantly. Annie's assiduously not looking at him, but she can hear the glee in his voice. "And a pass to miss five classes without being marked absent."

"Make it so!" the Dean declares, doing his best Jean-Luc Picard impression. Annie's never had the heart to tell him that just because he's bald doesn't mean he can really carry that off.

"Oh boy," Leonard chortles.

"Not for you," the Dean snaps. "For Abed Nadir."


Annie turns around then, because she can't resist catching a glimpse. Leonard looks practically apoplectic. She bites her lip to keep from laughing.

"You heard me," the Dean says, and leans back in his chair, folding his arms ostentatiously behind his head. "Oh, and both of you, give back your keys to the inner sanctum; I've decided I don't want students to have access to this room when I'm not here."

"...fine," Leonard grumbles, and pushes out of the room, apparently not even caring that he shoves into Annie on his way.

She sniffs and returns to her filing. There's a warm feeling of contentment in her belly. Justice has been done.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic