"I want to try something."
Jack nuzzled his way across Daniel's chest to his armpit and then flopped onto his back. "Be my guest. My body is yours to play with."
"No, I mean, I want you to do something to me - for me."
"Hmm. You're gonna have to wait." Jack closed his eyes, and his body sprawled deeper into a relaxed and sated doze.
Daniel rolled over to face him and Jack's arm snaked around his neck, pulling him down against his shoulder. Daniel lay there, his heart slowing and his body cooling.
Long warm light rayed across the room, across the bed. Daniel settled into Jack's loose embrace, draped an arm across his chest, letting his hand fall open against damp skin and chest hair, drowsily watching the light glint and fade across the moisture there.
"I want you to hold me," he said eventually.
"I am holding you," Jack muttered. "Something wrong with it?"
"Mmm." Jack's arm tightened around him. The faintest thrill of returning desire flickered through Daniel's gut.
"I want your weight to hold me."
Jack eyes slitted open, amused but wary. "Okay, I'll lie on top of you. Is that enough?" He draped himself on top of Daniel, his face pressed to Daniel's cheek and their legs tangling together. Daniel rubbed his cheek against Jack's, enjoying the still strange rasp of stubble, and kissed behind his ear. Jack's weight pressed against his chest. Daniel could feel the extra effort of his ribcage as he breathed. Out, and in. Out.
"Yeah, that's good." It was. Orgasm was just a memory, evaporating across his skin with the sweat. Only Jack's heaviness kept him in place, kept the restless lightness in his bones from driving him up and out of the bed, the room, the house, the world. Daniel still wasn't sure it was ever going to be enough.
"I want to feel your strength against me," he whispered, embarrassed. He knew that wasn't right, but he had to start somewhere.
"Geez, Daniel." Jack gave up trying to doze and leaned up on one hand, removing his anchoring weight. "What do you want to do? Arm wrestle?"
"No. Jack, don't laugh, please." Jack had his patient look on, the one that meant he would grant Daniel anything, even while giving him hell. Affection surged through Daniel. "I want to you to try to hold me down."
Jack raised an eyebrow. "Try is the word. You squirm like a fish. What makes you think I'm strong enough?"
"I don't know. Try it."
Daniel rolled out from under Jack and kneeled up on the bed. Jack took a deep breath, and the look on his face changed to something else, something fond.
"Okay." He slid around behind Daniel, pressed up against his back, like wrestlers. "Like this?"
It was like being held by an octopus. Jack's right arm went around his throat, forearm pressing against his windpipe and strong fingers digging into his collarbone. His other arm wrapped around him and grabbed Daniel's right wrist, immobilizing him. Daniel twisted hard to break the grip, but Jack's long fingers overlapped around his wrist to the knuckles, immovable. He shoved Daniel forward, getting a leg between Daniel's and hooked behind his knee. When Daniel tried to kick out, Jack flexed his leg a bit and Daniel's knee began to pop. Daniel rolled over to his right and pried his wrist loose with his free hand, but Jack just changed his grip to the mirror image. Before Daniel could get his hands free again Jack threw all his weight forward and pressed Daniel face down into the bed.
Daniel arched his back to get a knee up for leverage and the octopus wrap around his leg loosened slightly. He bucked up, confident that Jack wouldn't allow him to snap his neck, and sure enough, Jack's arms slid down to pinion his shoulders. Daniel abruptly lost interest in throwing Jack off.
"Tighter," he said.
Jack squeezed, and Daniel fought against him, chest straining. Energy swelled inside him, sliding out across his skin, like strange lightening rooted in his heart. He got one elbow underneath and used the leverage against Jack's grasp. The arms around him loosened and the tension of Jack's body went slack against Daniel's. The electricity went out of his skin.
Jack was panting in his ear. "Told you."
"You're not trying."
"I'm trying not to kill you. I don't know how to do this sort of stuff for fun."
Daniel rolled over under Jack, their slick bodies rubbing together. He was turned on from the adrenaline rush, wanting more, something. Jack dropped his head to Daniel's throat, licking at his neck. His legs straddled Daniel's thigh, his hips sliding and dick hardening. So Jack hadn't been turned off by the idea.
Daniel risked it. "Try tying me up. It'd make it easier."
Jack snorted into his neck. "The hidden Daniel Jackson." He raised his head and smiled, a little uncertainly, and Daniel kissed him for reassurance, long and deep and sweet.
Jack was still just indulging him. He rolled off the bed and rummaged through his clothing heaped on the floor against the dresser. He came back with an old worn belt that Daniel had last seen in his work jeans.
"In front or behind?" So Jack was really going to do what he asked. Daniel's mouth went dry.
"Kinkier," was all Jack said.
It was alarming, exciting, that Jack knew exactly how to tie his hands securely with a belt. He wound the leather around Daniel's wrists and jerked it tight, leaving no room for escape. Daniel tested the bond, writhed his wrists. No give. He forced his muscles, tensing them against the restraint, feeling his shoulders strain and bulge. Nothing. His heart started to pound, exhilaration filling his blood.
Jack was kneeling, facing him. He drew a finger over Daniel's straining shoulders, along the grooves and knots of muscle. His lips were parted, his eyes bright with admiring lust. Daniel's body came alive under that touch, sensation streaking through him. He flung himself onto Jack, kissing him fiercely, wild to touch and feel with his lips, his face, his body. Jack fell backwards, pulling him down on top.
Daniel was breathless with desire, writhing across Jack's body. His hands were useless, and without them his mind had geared down to another, more sensual level. He could not use his hands to mediate, or distract, or interpret for his mind. It was the purest freedom. He could let himself go, now that he could not hold himself.
Jack's arms draped loosely across his back, holding him down with just the pressure of the tips of his fingers grazing over his spine. Daniel could feel the soft hairs on Jack's arms skim along his own, raising shivers all over his skin. He was nearly blind with need, searching for Jack's mouth, finding it and plunging his tongue into equal heat and demand. Jack wrapped his legs around Daniel's, arching and sliding to fit their groins together. Daniel moaned low in his throat at the contact, finding a point of focus for his struggle. His cock slid hot and aching against Jack's. For a moment he was afraid to move, afraid of losing that delirious sensation through too much wanting. Jack's legs tightened around his own, his hands pinned Daniel's hips. Daniel exploded, twisting and thrusting, power striving against his bonds and reflecting straight to his cock. Jack's chest was heaving against his own, his hips thrusting up in an effort to match Daniel's movements.
And then there was wetness against his belly, Jack gasping against his mouth, and still he was held, centered, secure against his own ferocity. The sweetness poured through him, streaming away the wild fugitive passion.
He lay cradled between Jack's legs, too drained to move. His shoulders were beginning to ache from the stress, but Jack was already pulling at the knotted leather around his wrists; and when the belt came away Jack's hands stroked up his arms, a tentative warmth over the ache. Daniel slid off Jack onto his stomach and stretched his arms over his head, but couldn’t think of any reason to move more than that ever again.
"Well," Jack said. "That was fun." His voice didn't sound right. Daniel found that he had enough strength to turn his head to check on him.
Jack looked dazed and dreamy and ever so slightly freaked. He caught Daniel's eye and tried to smirk. "Who'd a thought it," he said shakily.
"Yeah," Daniel agreed. "Fun." His eyes closed again.
More than fun. He thought he might have found something, something to hold him.
It was so new, this desire for relationships that had persistence, permanence. Daniel had never known anything like it in his life. Even with Sha're, it was only by stranding himself on Abydos that he had made sure he stayed with her. Love always meant running away, a game of tag, you're it, and off again . But now that he was bound to SG-1, even if it were by accident, love had changed to touch and hide, hide and seek. Maybe that was why he loved Jack, who held him like glue, leashed, never letting him stray too far. Not into his head, or his work, or his pain; even when he strayed away across the universe Jack had come for him. Nobody else had ever come back for him, or held him hard enough to keep him from disappearing.
It was a long, dim afternoon. Daniel couldn't concentrate. He felt antsy, itchy, an annoying prickle between his shoulder blades he couldn’t shake away. He'd been working at the computer since Jack had gone home that morning, but his attention span was less than a gnat's. Up and down, unable to read more than a screen at a time. His notes were a mess, lined out and repetitious.
He was up again, trying to read his latest journals this time, but just the soft hiss of rain on the balcony doors was enough to jerk his mind away. He needed to move, his apartment felt too small for his body. Confined. He would have gone out running if it weren't getting dark and wet and cold and anyway he hated running. Everything was limited. Words, thoughts, scholarship and knowledge, his mind couldn’t tear them wide to any truth. He wanted to break something.
He went into the kitchen to make some coffee. He stared out the tiny window, watching the drops crawl down the glass, smearing the angled view of the alley into useless abstraction.
The coffee was taking forever to drip. He heard the click of the apartment door but didn't turn around, concentrating suddenly on the slow filling of the coffee pot.
Jack came up behind him, capturing Daniel in a hug, his lips teasing his throat. Jack smelled of rain, damp skin, and wet wool. Daniel tried to shake him off, laughing, but Jack held him tighter, the way he knew Daniel liked, pressed closely against his back. There was nothing edgy about Jack tonight. He was all warm and slow, even with the outside chill still flavoring his skin. Daniel pressed back and felt the soft swelling against his ass. Jack wanting him.
Daniel rocked back, his hands catching at Jack's hips, pulling him closer. He twisted his head, trying to get something more of Jack to kiss, but Jack was deeply involved in nuzzling below his ear. He dropped a hand to Daniel's groin and rubbed gently, and Daniel began to harden and ache.
The prickle over his skin exploded into electric sparks.
"I want to try something," he said. Jack's hands paused. Daniel didn't let Jack's hesitation daunt him. He knew what he needed.
"Tie me down," he said. Jack didn't move.
"Now? Here?" Jack's lips shaped the words against his cheek. His arms tensed and his body went taut against Daniel's.
Jack's stillness burned him.
He had to move, and the only movement he knew was too large for the intimacy of their bodies. Only Jack had the will to keep him. He would beg if he had to.
Jack knew how he wanted this. He was spread out on the table, naked. Tied. Writhing and twitching, muscles jumping under his skin everywhere. Gag me, so I can scream. All that restraint needed and absolutely necessary so that he could let go.
Jack kissed down his back, wet mouth and tongue from the nape of his neck to the base of his spine, then did it again while Daniel shivered with expectation of each breath and lap. The table surface was cool under his belly. Jack drew his fingers down Daniel's shoulders, nails just catching the skin, sparking more heat from his skin, more shivers against the cool, slick table surface. Hands warm and sharp, down his back and ribs, so good, digging through his blunt skin, prickle and thrill of delight; down over his ass, all tenderness and sensuality. Long trails of heat, again and again. Daniel yearned into those hands, vain to prolong it.
Jack's mouth was on him again, licking the rough stinging lines his fingers had just made. Licking down Daniel's ass, and then his hands again, spanning his ass, hard fingers molding and pressing, his thumbs right in the cleft, opening him. Daniel tried to flinch, then tried to arch, writhing and straining, as Jack's wonderful, terrible fingers and tongue licked and probed and stretched.
Daniel whimpered, wanting to see Jack. Jack let go, came around so Daniel could watch him unzip and oil himself up. He bent over and kissed Daniel's cheek, his eyes, stroked his hair, then moved around behind him again and began to fuck him.
Daniel struggled massively, with all his strength, his dick gone hard against the edge of the table, trying to get closer, to take control, to fight or flee, he didn't know. Only the ties around his wrists kept him from flying apart, only the gag kept him from biting through flesh, from choking on his ecstasy.
The table was lower than Jack's hips and he had to bend his knees to get the right angle, flexing his hips to thrust fast in and slow out. Flexing his knees to push up on every thrust, using the strength of his thighs to slam in as far as he could, balls against Daniel's ass as he buried himself. Deep as he could get, and Daniel wanted farther, further, only the protection of his bonds kept him from ripping himself open for Jack.
He came from nothing, deep twisting stroking of the prostate, spattering the floor. Jack took a long time on him. Until Daniel was sobbing, body like glass shards inside and out, all edges and shimmer. Jack straightened up, moaned about his aching knees, leaned over Daniel's back, his weight pressing out the shudders as he untied him. Took out the gag, kissed him, held him as Daniel slid to the floor, dragging Jack down with him.
It was wonderful. Jack was wonderful. Only Jack.
When Jack was holding him he was set, formed, given structure in space. He wasn't a mind, a set of thoughts deconstructing the meanings of 'love' across linguistic and cultural boundaries, and analyzing the psychological ramifications of sexual pleasure as expressed in a sociologically transgressive duality. He knew himself at last to be a body bounded in space, a body that loved Jack. But his nerves took no impress of the memory of pleasure. The paths were dulled from disregard. Pleasure wasn't enough.
He thought about it for a long time. Jack wouldn't like it. Not that he doubted that Jack would do it if he asked. Jack was a pushover. But Jack didn't like being reminded of certain things, the distasteful things that he was capable of. He had worked hard to put his demons to sleep, and was terrified of awakening them. It would be unkind to Jack to make him risk that. Daniel would have to be very sure.
But Daniel could taste the payoff. He turned it over in his mind, tasted it, probed it, examined it from all sides. There were connections he needed to make, paths he needed to trace, through his skin and gut and groin, winding around him, fastening him together. He needed Jack to pin him down. Sharpness to remind him forever that he was real. As much sensation as his body could carry. Only Jack could do that.
Late one night Daniel felt it, when the sweet languorous aftermath began to lift and sharpen.
"Jack, I want to try something."
Jack didn't stop what he was doing. The dim bedside lamp counterfeited moonlight on his naked skin and hair, silver blending into shadow with every movement. Daniel captured Jack's head between his hands, hauling him up to reoccupy his mouth with a kiss. Jack lingered, happy to be redirected.
Daniel said, as tenderly as he could, "I want you to hit me."
Jack's eyes hardened with alarm. "What?"
"With the belt."
"What the fuck? What are you-- what do you--?"
Daniel rocked against Jack's hip, pressing their groins together. "It's okay. I'll like it."
"That's what you say now. Suppose you don't?" Jack's eyes were full of unspoken fears.
"How do you know that? You've done it before?" The attempted sarcasm was choked by huskiness and doubt.
"No, of course not. But I've been thinking about it. I'm learning what I like." Daniel put all of his desire into his words, heating up just from thinking about it, from watching Jack struggle with the idea.
He bent and licked at the warm, fine skin of Jack's hip, mouthing the faint grit of salt. Jack moved just the slightest into the touch, and Daniel envied that lithe body and its easy, involuntary response. Daniel stroked his cheek up across belly and ribs, catching the quiver just under the skin that was always Jack alive and wanting and eager.
He rested his chin on Jack's chest so he could look him in the face.
Jack's expression was raw. His hands were all over Daniel, stroking and petting; over his hair, down his back and shoulders, over and over; hard, frantic brushes. Holding his shape in his hands as if he were clay to be caught and molded before it spun away into formlessness.
"I don't think I can do it."
"Yes, you can. It'll be you, Jack. That's why it's okay. I'll like it. You'll see."
Jack's lips tasted of salt too.
He had Jack tie him up, shivering, hands bound to the knob of the bedroom door.
"Do you want the gag?"
"No, I need to tell you what I want and when to stop."
He was shaking with trepidation over this, this going over the edge, going somewhere he'd never been. He had never been beaten. He'd been hit a number of times, and zatted, and shot, and burned, and ribboned; he knew what that kind of pain was like. This was going to be different. This was Jack. This was what he wanted. This was Jack getting closer to him, right into his nerves.
Jack used the belt on him, across his shoulders.
The shock of it took his breath away. He gasped for air, and with the lift of his chest he could feel the whole stinging line.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah. Do it again."
"Daniel -- ," Jack's voice was cracking.
Oh God. He had to breathe. "Jack, I'm fine, I'm fine, please, don't worry." There was a long pause. "You can be harder, I like it."
It was harder the next time. It snapped along his skin and his breath caught again, an involuntary catch and moan when he exhaled. He struggled a little, rolled his shoulders, just to feel it more.
"Lower, Jack, please, lower." Shameless. Jack knew what he meant. He could hear Jack breathing heavily too when he said that, a stuttering gasp.
The next blow was right across his ass. It lit up his nerves and sparks ran straight to his groin. He moaned again, knowing what he sounded like, the same as when he was being blown. Jack could tell, because he did it again, exactly the same. And again.
Daniel was going to scream, he was going to come, he was going to burn up, he was going to explode with each line of bitter, blinding sensation laid across his skin. Jack was doing this to him, Jack was turning him into particles of energy.
"Jack, stop, let me go."
He heard the belt drop to the floor. Jack untying him, hands shaking.
"Are you all right?"
Daniel turned and looked into Jack's eyes. "I'm fine. I'm wonderful."
He pushed Jack over towards the bed. He was alight with sensation, growing, blazing. Jack's smooth skin beneath his fingers was pain, the shift of cold night air across his back was excruciating delight, every pulse beat pounding across his skin and ass and into his groin, shivering flames focusing straight into his limited flesh. He was so hard and burning with it, wanting Jack so much, needing to find that hot tight place in Jack that could match and contain him.
Jack knew, hard and wanting himself, though his eyes were anxious and doubtful.
"It's okay, Jack, I liked it."
Daniel kissed him and pushed him down on the bed. Jack got the message, and his eyes went black. He rolled over while Daniel grabbed the oil and slicked himself. The stretch across the bed pulled fire across his shoulders. He spread Jack's legs apart with his knees, grabbed his hips and slowly forced his way into Jack's tight, unresisting body.
Jack liked it rough like this. Daniel flexed his hips and drilled into that heat. Every rock and thrust pulled the skin across his back and buttocks, pulled the lines of fire through his skin that Jack had given him. Jack was all over him now. He could feel him constantly, banding him, still holding him with each sparking nerve ending. All around his dick, so tight and hot, like more lines of sparks there too.
Jack rocked back a little and Daniel fitted his hands around Jack's sharp hip bones, his fingers digging into the spare flesh to get a good grip and pull him back onto Daniel as far as he could. Jack's breath caught, stuttered, sighed as Daniel began a slow, deep pounding.
Jack never made a sound if he could help it. Daniel went by feel and glimpses of Jack's taut face, hints of what he liked and how he liked it. Daniel slipped one hand around to grab Jack, and Jack grunted softly and rocked into his hand. Daniel loved the feel of Jack's dick. He squeezed slightly and let Jack fuck his hand, with every thrust letting his thumb rub across the slit and down the head. Jack was gasping, rocking and thrusting forward into Daniel's hand and back to fill himself further, until they were both sitting back on their knees. Daniel pushed forward, shoving Jack onto his elbows, and fell across his back, both hands cupping him tightly.
He loved to feel Jack come. In his ass, in his mouth, in his hands, he loved the sudden tension, the surge and pulse and terrible vulnerability. Jack made a noise like a moan deep in his chest and lapsed onto the bed. It was the sound that hit Daniel in the gut, that tightened his balls and pulled all his ecstasy through his dick and into Jack.
Buried so deep in Jack, blanketed with his touch, body wound about with bands of pain and pleasure that Jack had driven deep enough to touch and brand and confine his heart.
Surrounded by Jack. Held.
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