"I kissed Teyla," Sheppard said, out of the blue.

"You what?" Rodney set down the stack of dvds with a clatter and stared at him.

It was the first time Sheppard had come over since getting out of the infirmary, and Rodney had been looking through his stash of pirated dvds for something to watch in celebration of Sheppard's release. Now that he'd set the stack down, he didn't know what to do with his hands; he jammed them into his pockets, trying not to fidget.

"Before," Sheppard said. "When I was...just starting to be affected by the retrovirus."

"Oh," Rodney said. It was clear Sheppard expected him to say more than that, but he was pretty sure his gut response -- a twisting ache of irrational disappointment -- wasn't appropriate in the least. "I didn't know you were interested."

Sheppard gave him a look like he was crazy.

"I mean, of course you're interested, everybody's interested, she's gorgeous," Rodney amended. "I just didn't know you were...thinking about it."

"I wasn't," Sheppard said, short. He sat down on the edge of Rodney's bed and stared at his hands.

Rodney sat down next to him, trying not to look at the place on Sheppard's arm where the faint diamond of bluish scales still lingered. "Maybe you're into her in some kind of subconscious way," he offered.

Sheppard made a face. "I wouldn't exactly know, would I? If it's subconscious."

"So...how was it?" Rodney regretted the words as soon as they came out of his mouth, but he couldn't take them back.

"How do you think?" Sheppard sounded furious. "It was fantastic!" There was a pause. "It was terrible," he admitted. His voice was quieter now. "I wasn't myself. I didn't even realize I was taking advantage of her, until it was over and I saw the look on her face."

"Ouch," Rodney said. He'd had a few of those -- women who broke away from a kiss and looked at him like something they'd scraped off the bottom of a shoe -- but Sheppard probably hadn't. Not since puberty, anyway.

"I tried to apologize this afternoon."

"And?"

"She said not to give it another thought."

Rodney couldn't help snorting in response. "You're not doing such a good job with that part."

"I just -- don't want things to be awkward. We're team," Sheppard said, spreading his hands helplessly.

"It doesn't have to be a big deal," Rodney said. "In Siberia there was this woman..." He smiled, despite himself, remembering. "Tough as nails, and she had the most amazing lips!"

"Rodney, this isn't the time --" Sheppard began, sounding annoyed.

Rodney barreled on. "One night I'd had too much to drink and I made a pass at her," he said. "Bent her backwards and kissed her."

Sheppard snorted. "How'd that go?"

"It was all right, until she punched me in the face."

Sheppard's laugh sounded slightly strained, but it was a relief to hear anyway.

"The next day everything was fine. Like it had never happened."

"Huh," Sheppard said, noncommittal.

"Look," Rodney said. "You can kiss somebody you work with, it doesn't have to mean anything, it's not the end of the world."

Sheppard met his eyes then, and in that moment of vulnerability he looked so heartbreakingly attractive that Rodney couldn't resist closing the distance between them. He reached one hand out, cupped Sheppard's face, and drew him in for a kiss.

He'd meant to just brush lips, just to prove his point, but Sheppard's arms went around him instantly, and suddenly the kiss was hot and heavy and full of longing. Little exploratory nibbles, Sheppard's faint stubble rasping against his palm, a swallowed gasp, a heated sigh.

When they broke apart Rodney felt poleaxed.

"What, ah," John cleared his throat, "point were you trying to make, there?"

"It doesn't matter," Rodney said, dazed. "I think I was wrong." Unless the kiss hadn't meant anything -- though surely John wouldn't have kissed him like that if he hadn't meant it. "Was I wrong?"

"I think maybe you were," John said. His eyes were full of wonder, and his smile made Rodney's toes curl.

"I'm big enough to admit that," Rodney said, fast, because he was. And because he hoped maybe if he did, John would kiss him again.

And John did.

The End