The Saga of Two Girls and the Stories They've Read (you're reading)

Dec 4 (Tell me that's not really the date. Please?) Some SV WIP (which I didn't realize was a WIP) No Darker Than Yours by RivkaT. Part two is here. Freaky strange story where Clark and Lex watch Legend together: The Stuff of Legend.

Oct 27 (the re-mix). Ok, now that I've caught up on all the older stuff (and I know there are still things missing and it makes me crazy), I can sort of move on. These are stories I read either today or yesterday. I spent about 30 minutes looking for this heart wrenching story that made me cry at my desk yesterday. You have been warned. Fashionista. On the Remus boat and yet without Sirius, Kingsely's Folly is a good read.

Oct 27 I have a bunch of stuff to add from using other computers and trying to track what I was reading. I feel terrible that I haven't updated this sooner! I hate it when there are great gaping holes in the date list on this page. What follows are technically from September and were never migrated from the laptop to the desktop. Never, at least until now.

Very long Julad Snape story Severus' Marvellous Medicine http://yearningvoid.net/julad/res/ It's a Roald Dahl novel with all the same plot and dialog but with Snape as the main character. Very interesting idea and yet I didn't finish reading it.

Night-blooming Hearts Ease by Julad http://yearningvoid.net/stories/julad/000080.html Long, Neville/Snape set before Resonant's Transfigurations.

the second coming http://doyourthing.org/hostage/lise/second.htm resurrection fic

belong by sam vimes - lily, james, remus -- angsty hotness

superfunny ron/draco (ish) http://www.livejournal.com/users/weatherby/54466.html

Subject of Schoolgirl Fantasies possibly the hottest 3 some lately http://www.livejournal.com/community/pornish_pixies/167763.html Hermione/Ginny/Lupin

the fairytale way by Zahra -- Cute Remus/Sirius, yet not without the lingering angst required for the pairing. http://www.obsessedmuch.net/dysfunctional/fairytale.html

the importance of being moony http://www.lastchancehouse.com/fiction/moony.html Lupin/Snape. Sweet, snarky, sappy, dysfunctional.

get there faster (h/r) http://thedoublehelix.org/jintian/faster.html brilliant and dark, will rip your heart out, but in a good way.

august twelfth by sanj http://www.livejournal.com/users/sanj/124753.html You rec'd this to me and I loved it!

Sep 13 I have a bunch of stuff to add in from the previous weeks that were read on the laptop in the less hot room. Laura Smith wrote an interesting conversation between Snape and Lupin : For I Have Sinned.

Aug 25 I'm home from the family ordeal. I hesitate to call it hell because that was really my parent's deal rather than the extended family trouble. This was just trauma. And sadness. So much sadness. I'm just numb. I'm catching up on lj and wanted to mark some stuff here. Copperbadge has a cute set of letters btwn Harry and Remus set at the end of OotP. Owl Post.

Aug 13 You're at vividcon and I'm home alone, writing. If you want a feel-good, post-war (so a bit sad) Snape/Lupin story read An Ordinary World by Zillah. It has made me happy, in sad yet satisfied way. So now I'm off to exercise by swimming in the pool. Plus, it's about 90 already and it's 10am. (I saw Rosencrantz and Gildenstern Are Dead yesterday. I want to name a story A Conspiracy of Cartographers.) Skins by Casira is a post-prank story.

Aug 11 First Memory from a first exploration of Mary Borsellino's site: a sweet Remus's First Day at Hogwarts (definately a theme in this fandom).

Aug 6 ETA 8/11: be nice if there were commentary on some of these, eh? I thought so and therefore added a little commentary.

Through a glass darkly http://www.livejournal.com/users/eumenides1/26263.html -- deathfic, sort of. Wrenching Remus images, though. :-)
Mary Boresllino http://www.livejournal.com/users/monkeycrackmary/434276.html -- Mary was one of the first Remus/Sirius writers after book 3 was published. I was happy to find her site and I ahve some hope I'll find old stuff I enjoyed and some new stuff, but I don't know what all is there yet.
Dark Nights of the Soul http://www.angeltowns.com/members/nuttersinc/dark_nights_1.html -- A Resurrection Fic, long. That's all I know so far. I hate hte lay out, at least for reading and so I'm going to dump it into word and then decide what I think.
japanese image site - marauder's union http://mmu.moo.jp/gallery/su1_qaboard.cgi -- This is an art site, mostly. I've been on an art kick lately.
nutter's inc (dark nights of the soul main site) http://www.angeltowns.com/members/nuttersinc/content.html -- I haven't really explored Nutter's Inc but I'd like to be able to find it again some day, so I put it here.

Aug 4 I got up this morning because I believed my unemployment interview was at 10. But it's tomorrow at 10. So now I'm going to try to work on the d and maybe find something with Snape in it for you. :-)

Aug 3 loads of little things that I read when I should have been doing a dozen other things. I've emailed you anything of substance and interest. A Lonely September by bludiamond -- not so good. Literacy by Narie_the_waitress. Marauder era, very sweet Remus/Siris. Just Waiting by Mousapelli. I wish this had a stronger ending than it does but it's great resurrection fic. Black Poison by Patricia RD. This is something that I still can't beleive I read. It's not something that makes you want to wash your eyes, it's just not quite on track. Nowhere's Now Here by Stephanie is a hot scene lying in wait for a longer story.

Aug 2 Yahtzee -- Breaking Up the Band (in lj). Something Borrowed by Victoria P. Angst and treasured shirts. Alive by Sam Vimes.

July 30 7/29 reread alternate moonlight to finish up Tylor.
all this time
http://www.livejournal.com/community/harry_and_ron/47479.html
moon scars, hour of the wolfe and strewn stars are all short scenes by the same author about Sirius learning of Remus's identity as a werewolf.
http://www.kekkai.org/bishink/hp/moonscar.htm
hour of the wolf
http://www.kekkai.org/bishink/hp/hourwolf.htm
strewn stars
http://www.kekkai.org/bishink/hp/stars.htm
head first
http://ponderosa121.com/fiction/potc_headfirst.html
this site has some good art, too

July 28 stuff from the table laptop -- from ebt reading days. 7/28 Early Hours
http://www.thechicagoloop.net/yahtzee/harrypotter/EarlyHours.htm
strong defense
http://www.geocities.com/ellen_fremedon/Strong.html
skin deep
http://snapeff.ebonyx.org/home/endfest2/archive/skin.html
from the snape fuhqfest - loads of seeker there
http://snapeff.ebonyx.org/index.html
lies in the rookery
http://www.livejournal.com/community/pornish_pixies/117790.html

July 27 tequila and teddy bears -- syd/weiss by thestickeywicket.
memorai incantantum http://home.comcast.net/~juliefortune/harrypotter/memoria.htm; the good wife
http://home.comcast.net/~juliefortune/Stargate/goodwife.htm; alternate moonlight
http://home.comcast.net/~juliefortune/harrypotter/alt_moonlight.htm; la cancion de las pistolas
http://www.geocities.com/auburnnothenna/Cancion.html

July 26 stories to send people:The Host and the Guest
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1840073/1/; Thirteen ways http://sinope.hackmode.org/stories/thirteen.html; an englishman in smallville http://www.secrets-and-lies.com/stories/englishman.html; remix by RivkaT http://www.rivkat.com/smallville/englishman.html; Break, SV Future Fic by RivkaT http://www.livejournal.com/users/rivkat/59789.html?#cutid1; promised eternity http://www.skyehawke.com/archive/story.php?no=1306

July 23 I spent today looking at apartments -- some I could afford, some I couldn't, and some I wouldn't live in, no matter what the rent might be. Gick. There are days when I hate my life and days when I just despise it. The Shape I found You in is a short Remus/Sirius story set after PoA. What You Want -- also short, by Musesfool. If It's Us by Cooperbadge -- a remus/sirius/james threesome. The Second Coming by Lise and Kel is longish and sad Remus and Sirius.

July 7 I had no idea that Rache was writing again and was very pleased to swing by her site and find some new stories. I was hoping to find some old HP links that are broken (to stories I noted that she had rec'd way back in '01) but she seems to have taken her rec page down.

July 5 I've started Chocolate Frog -- The Way of the World by McKay -- before, I think. She's the author of Wicked Game, that I think you mentioned before (maybe in email?) and I read (see June 17). I can't get to the story you mention Parsely, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme because it asks for a username and pw and when I don't have it, it just goes to a forbidden page rather than to a useful page where I might ask for a pw. *shakes head* This pw phenomena is very frustrating.

July 4 Just a little reading because I really should be either in the shower or at the store. Post-war Remus/Kingsley by Arsenic -- Transformation which I am reading thanks to you! Psalm fic (a challenge I still don't quite understand) by Victoria P (aka musesfool) Straight On Till Morning. The Laura Smith Remus/Giles story I told you about is Emotional Scar. I've started Chocolate Frog before, I think. But

July 1 It isn't right that I'm awake. I was up at 2:30 because I couldn't sleep and now it's 9 and the gardeners are here. Sigh. Experiments in Moonlight by Julie Fortune. It's her first slash story and it's a pretty good story. Nice, adult Snape, interesting solution to a big problem and some R/Sirius love. Animals and Angels by copperbadge (again where the author says "long" and the story takes 7 minutes to read) with some domestic violence. Interesting for the duration but I'm not certain how believable. More pain and agony -- Elusive by dementedsiren

What is up with spelling porn prOn? I do not get it. Plus. I loathe erratic capitalization.

Jun 30 It's unbelievable to me that June is over. I'm sad I don't have more to show for it. Ok, here's my problem and it's going to sound a bit petty. When someone has been a total ass, risked my life, the life of my dear friend and the life of someone who is our enemy, I do not see forgiveness on the horizon, let alone forgiveness with sex. I want more extenuating circumstances around the Siruis Tells Snape to Go Get Eaten By a Werewolf scenario. Skins: The Body Under Seige by Mousepelli for a previous remix has some interesting ideas but just doesn't do enough before Sirius and Remus are together.

Jun 29 Ah, Yahtzee, I so love Yahtzee. Do you think she'd run away with me if I asked her nicely in an loc? Her latest is in her lj -- Book of Love. I read some other stuff last night -- or rather, I skimmed it without really finishing anything. Aftermath by Josan alleges to be non-con but is really rape recovery. RivkaT needs to write Remus/Sirius or Lupin/Snape but until she does, she writes some mean SV: Rainbow Sign. Because Remus/Sirius is a drug and I am an addict, even when it hurts: With Purchase by annie in annieslj -- also The Needle and the Damage Done.

I think I am going to enter that Remus Remix challenge. I'm a little scared because I've never done anything like that but then again, one never learns except by trying. So, I'll try -- I think. I'm still tinkering with my drabble and I have to mail it off tonight because tomorrow all day I have to be at WC.

I saw a story that promised to make the Marauders into the Beatles -- Remus=John, Sirius=Paul, James=George and Peter=Ringo but I lost it in a computer crash. Have you seen anything like it?

Jun 26 Amazingly hot Hermonie/Remus (H is all grown up, not a kid) Forever After by Laura Smith. And, in the the same amazingly hot fashion, H/R/H -- Triumvirate.

Jun 25 You are the best. Thank you so much for Stealing Harry. I am a big Sirius/Remus fan -- I have loved them together since the books (see far below and my adults in HP obssession of a while ago). I adored Stealing Harry, though something about it broke my heart and made me cry for the loss of something, I don't even know what. But I'll format it and read it again and again. Sad sad sad Remus/Severus (sort of). Severus is experimenting with a cure for lycanthropy and things don't go as planned. Time Under Glass by Lux. Funnier and with the witty and the angst -- S/R -- What You Need by Laura Smith. Did I mention hot? Scortching. (Banking Ms. Smith for later -- she seems to have a threesome kink H/R/H).

Jun 17 Formatted and printed out all three parts of wicked game last night. slowly waking up today and reading lj. Yahtzee wrote a Joan of Arcadia short -- Five Things She's Not about Grace.

Jun 16 Banking: Wicked Game (heavily rec'd Remus/Snape) Rec pages: http://www.livejournal.com/users/greygoblin/ and http://www.livejournal.com/community/hprwfqf/ and http://www.livejournal.com/community/butgeorge/ and http://www.livejournal.com/users/recsrainbow/

Jun 15 Grades submitted. Editing chapter 2 has begun. Goal: complete editing and send to readers on Friday. KassRachel mentioned this threesome by Calliope on quaffle -- The Night Watchers. Confusingly, it says "long" but it's very short. It must be opposite day in Calliope's world. Hot though (and it's not opposite day in my world). I'm prowling around on the recs rainbow, trying to find the perfect story. No luck yet, though I have found some interesting Snape/Lupin. The Diary by Josan is ok, but not great. There's a big tragedy in Snape's family history but it didn't grab me emtionally and I didn't finish the story. Not bad (though there was one sentence that made me think I should skip this story) Skull Beneath the Skin by Ellen Fremedon.

Jun 12 Place holding a Maruaders era Remus/Sirius -- Terms of Endearment.

Jun 11 The worst president of our life time is dead and buried. When's the party? I'm reading a little this morning, because while i should be doing other things, I'm a little hung-over and trying to get myself conscious and functioning is a tough thing. Plus, I have recieved 3 emails reporting cheating on the final for my 400 person class and that pisses me right off. However, failing them all is apparently an ill-advised and poor decision. So, some Sports Night (because it was in my inbox) by Shrift, Things to Get Arrested For in Singapore. Wrenching story about Lupin just after James's and Lily's deaths by Penknife, Breathe Out Anger. Also by Penknife, Hands -- very short and thought-provoking. Ok, she's depressing me so I'm going to move on. But I like her writing, it's very economical with its emotion and yet she stabs me in the heart every time. And I don't want to cry today. A Cup of Rain is the last Penknife for a while.
Moving on, I'm catching up on stuff I've missed. Kass wrote Sanj a b-day threesome Dream that's pretty good, though not as scortching as the room of requirement threesome by Resonant which is much closer to my threesome kink.

Jun 10 Yesterday was a giant disaster. Details later. Until then, Troy in 5 Minutes. Hysterical.

Jun 8 Yesterday was all reading and napping but today there must be work accomplished. I have to write the key to the big class final and I want to get stared on the diss again. It's so hard to pick it up, even though I want to. So difficult to start. But it's early (just gone 8am) and I've read Yahtzee's sweet, sweet Marauder days Sirius/Remus story Early Hours. It's now afternoon and the key is done. I am reading Helen's Severus/Remus Third Time's the Charm story as a reward. She is very witty and this story does make me laugh out loud.

Jun 7 I am reading much HP in the wake of the movie. I think that I want to have a torrid affair with Alfonso (Poncho) Cuaron. Sigh. He's dreamy. It is the best of the three movies. Loved it. I've found a bunch of rec pages, mostly through lj. Bellatrix LaStrange's Diary by Slug and Frisco. Funny, but not laugh out loud funny. I found this on Musesfool's lj page for Remus/Sirius recs. I've read some of the stories on that page, being a R/S girl from a few books ago, but still it's nice to have all the recs in one place. I am slowly reading a Marauder's era piece but it's not holding my interest (possibly because I am so tired) Thing by Cimorene and Wax Jism. Before bed these days I am re-reading 100 Days of Solitude and I wish I were reading something lighter and more fannish. But I want to finish it again and see if I understand it any better 20 years after reading it the first time.

Jun 2 My god-- is it really June? Tomorrow is my last day teaching at UCR and I'm so excited I could just cry. I want that to be over so badly, you don't even know. But tonight I read an SG story (J/D sort of, with angst, a little h/c and some miscommunication) and I'm feeling like maybe I might get to where I feel life is tolerable again. The story is Complicated by Dith. Here's to a summer of dissertation writing and fan fiction reading.

Apr 16 Read Credulous Hearts before bed this evening. How sweet is that?! Very, that's how.

Apr 10 Grabbed a little time to read -- there's never enough time in this life, you know? So I read arachne's Firefly story Dominoes rec'd by Nestra and Shrift (who've updated two time in the month and half I've been thinking of updating).

Apr 9 Today I'm off but I haven't read anything that isn't for class or my dissertation since I finished The Bloody Stare of Mars. I can't believe she made me believe in Hermoine/Snape, even for a little while. I was supposed to sail to Catalina today and that's why class was cancelled but K flaked. God bless her sweet, flakey heart, because I really needed to work on my dissertation today. Ann actually gave my work a compliment -- a tiny one, but still. She said that "discussion of Sahagun is rich" and I nearly fainted. I still feel a little weak.

Mar 27 Today was the day of taxes. Blerg. Plus a new cd-rw for me (5 times more powerful than my current cdrw and only $26). I am sort of reading Yahtzee's The Bloody Stare of Mars but my heart isn't in it. Possibly because of all the vodka it's pushing around my brain right now.

Mar 19 Talking happened today! Woo! I was so thrilled to hear your voice again. I have to complete my other syllabus for the Spring quarter. Instead, I'm surfing links from the Renegade Slash Militia Essential LInks for Slash Readers and wondering when I stopped looking at people's rec pages. Most of my links to rec pages are broken. HP is just not chock-full of Harry/Ron and it should be. That, and Harry/Ron/Hermoine threesomes. That's what that fandom needs. The HP First Kiss Archive has this sweet H/R by Stubbleglitter Miss Me. A couple of Jat_Sapphire S/H stories before bed. Another Day, Another Miracle. I know there are stories out there from the movie -- but where??!! I am so out of hte loop, it's pathetic.

Mar 19 Several shorts on the end of SN: Respice Finem - Look to the end by Scrunchy. They're interesting but short. And, I posted to Crossroads, in a fit of socialability. And I haven't heard back from you on email or by phone and that worries me greatly. Are you well, are you just busy?

Mar 17 Good luck o' the day to you, my little shamrock. Blarney, it's been a long time since we've had even a wee word between us. Today I read a bunch of material to prep for my talk about St. Patrick tomorrow. There's a wealth of stuff available now that Early English Books is on the web. At least, EEOB is on-line through my library and magic library code. So I have read several accounts of the daring of St. Patrick of Ireland, the adventures of a missionary, saint and warrior. Also, I have found several accounts that place him with St. George galavanting around Europe. And some tales of True Christian Protestants destroying his sanctuary and monastery in Ireland, known as Patrick's Purgatory. Plus, as a cherry on the top of this sundae of catholic veneration, a sermon against public drunkeness, given in 1637 in London by a Jesuit priest. My life is complete.

In other news, I really want to talk to you. And possibly update my rec page. And definately avoid grading the papers I collected last week.

Mar 15 Resonant has a new Harry/Ron/Hermoine three-way that is both scorching and sweet. Don't miss Bed and Board.

Mar 14 Destina has new, long SG story -- Unmade. Sad, sad, unutterably sad. Things He Remembers by Cori Lannam. This is much less sad but it just ends right about the time I think it should go on another 15 pages or so.

Mar 12 Yahtzee is a damn fine writer and she loves Jack (spydaddy is my fave alias character, too). The Thought That Counts.

Mar 11 Continuing with Nestra and Shrift's Rec Page, I re-read Alive in Here by Resonant. I think I must have read that in a some stories that Meg passed on to me, since I didn't note it here. It's Snape/Draco and it's very poignant. Darken Many Virtures by Sara is Harry/Draco and it's pretty hot. This is exquisite -- Ephemeris by penknife. More Remus/Sirius delightfulness in that I can almost forget what happened in the book way -- The Fairytale Way by zahra.

Mar 10 And now that I have finally finished OotP, I am looking desperately for the fixes. Deus ex machina by Darkkitten is frantic, breathless and short. Lovely fix, I wonder if Rowling thought of it. Alive by Sam Vines. It's in two parts (one and two) and on her lj, all of which is sad, like the story. Sad, that is, until it becomes unbearably silly and not so true to the universe. I'd say don't waste your time on that one. Ok, the description for this next is silly but it's pretty good -- really! Draco asks Luna for a date and learns some important truths. Plus, stellamaru really captured JKR's style of writing dialog. Unbroken by stellamaru. More pain and agony with Harry in the post-Sirius world -- What He Wants by Debchan. And that is a damn fine story, sort of Snarry, but very off-screen. A Ron has amnesia story -- though all tell and no show -- by an unknown author : Aphasia. From Nestra and Shrift's rec page.

Mar 9 I finally finished Order of the Phoenix. Wow. It was quite intense at the end. I was crying. So much loss and so little time to process it. I totally understood Harry in that moment in a way I hadn't in the entire book up to that point. So, since I finished it, I'm reading your HP recs from iread. Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered by Victoria P.

Mar 8 Today I went to Killa's rec page and read some K/S she points out as good. Cave Paintings by Jesmihr is a pretty good read and an interesting followup to Amok Time. I was unable to complete any other stories on that site.
Mimor VI by the same author is also a pretty good read, though I thought she should either ramp up the angst or play it down more, one or the other. Still, it was a nice diversion down K/S lane.

Mar 5 Did a bit of story scanning on your iread page. I am reading Loki's Curse by Jonah in the Whale (what a delightfully silly pseud) and liking it. I also read Helen's new Harry/Ron piece rec'd all over my flist -- Close Enough. It's 100 percent Helen -- the characters are a bit wittier than they are in the source material but the story is fast moving and emotionally gripping. I miss you so much. Sharrie just left and I'm getting myself back to myself. I was rejected by ASU and I feel like now I can assume that I won't be interviewed by any of the institutions I applied to. Sigh. I am really in a state of despair about my life.

Feb 29 Leap day. I have been reading some this week, though I have been mostly working on a paper proposal for the National AAR meeting next Nov in San Antonio. Let's see. First I read and SG story that wasn't too bad, though I didn't love it: How Daniel Got His Groove Back by Nel. Promises to be H/C but fails to deliver very much H/C, more of a elongated first time story. Still, not bad. I could complain that I don't understand what relation the title has to the story -- oh, ok, I will complain. Maybe it's an homage to that book (How Stella Got Her Groove Back) and I don't know enough to recognize it. The new (improved?) Tissue of Silver is up. I think you can really see the stamp of AJ Hall's beta on this version of the story. Still, it's a good read, nice drama and a relatively lovable Harry and Draco. The RSM links page has been updated and I'm looking forward to making use of that resource, esp for Pirates that's Jack/Will vc. Jack/NOrrington (I don't quite get the appeal, which was a point of bonding for me and Rache). Oh, speaking of pirates, if you didn't see the Jack Aubrey-Jack Sparrow convo piece by flikfilosopher, it's worth a look. Hal's new Snape/Lupin Misanthropy, Lycanthropy, And The Pursuit Of Knowledge is sweet but not cloying and has left me with that warm feeling that means I should go back to work now. :-)

Feb 23 Back from Escapade. Most notable thing about it -- and it was a fun weekend -- is that it would have been ever so much more fun with you there. So many people asked me and Rache about you. She joked that we are both half of a fan pair -- but now that I think about it, there needs to be some poly-fan term that would cover the relationships we have. Tina spoke to me, which was cool and Kim spoke to me which was so shocking I was speechless in response. Jo did not speak to me though we really didn't see eachother. Rache seemed to have a good time and get some nourishment from the con, which I understand was the problem with Vividcon. Many were notable by their absence -- no Merry, Seah, Margie, Jessica, Canalbaby -- in fact, very little sparkly presence at all. Killa pimped Jeremiah to me pretty sucessfully. The SG dinner was fun, though the Introvert/Extrovert ratio at each table was a bit squewed and I was at a very quiet table. The vid show was good. Rache was unhappy your vid was the closing vid but in the end I think it worked out ok. The comment forms sucked big rocks and need to be rethought. I went to a couple of panels. I had a hard time when I first got there getting into being around so many people and having to respond to so many different kinds of social events. My social skills aren't what they used to be. Let's see, I know there's more to tell you.

Many people asked about my rec page and my h/c page, which makes me feel like I should maybe get back to it. I have a several stories in my To Be Rec'd folder and it seems like maybe I should spend a little time on that. The con was a good break from my life that I am hating with as much passion as I can muster through the depression. Today, though, I am having a miserable time getting myself to work at all. I did a bunch of puttering around but nothing substantial and I have a bunch of substantial stuff that needs doing. Paper proposal due in draft tomorrow evening, plus teaching tomorrow. Plus, as I have learned lo these many decades now, my dissertation is remarkably unwilling to write itself.

Back to the con. Now I'll move to How I Let You Down Again (TM). I did not take any pictures. Also, as you may have noticed, I did not call you. I suck. Friday I got drunk out of my mind. I know that Jennifer licked my ear, but I feel that I may have encouraged that as a "damn, where's Sandy when we (Jennifer and I) are drunk." However, I think beyond that it was ok-normal with me and Jenn. Maygra also forgave me for putting my foot in my mouth while drunk out of my mind. I forgot her mom died and conflated her with Elyn, whose mom is sick. I felt like a tool. Apparently, though, I did send Maygra a card, so I'm not a total flake and loser, just a lame flake and loser. On Saturday night, Christine was drunk and wanted to talk about abusive fathers. Poor kid, she's got loads to deal with and way less therapy under her belt than I've had. She said that she thinks that she had internalized her father's violence and that's why she and I aren't better friends. She also said she was afraid of my generousity, which caused me to snort, given that (on the list of why I suck) I had just said to Rache at dinner that Kim losing her job was evidence for the possible existence of a god. Rache was less than blessed by that comment and, gently, reprimanded me for being glad someone was unemployed. She's right and I'm a cow. But it seems she's still my friend (Rache, not Christine because that will need the light of sober day to resolve itself, or god forbid, Kim who may speak to me but who knows what that might mean).

I did get up for breakfast on Sunday, mostly because I didn't want Rache to have to go by herself. Otherwise, I probably would have slept through it. I was glad I went though because I saw Agnes and that's when Tina spoke to me for nearly an entire conversation about SV and PotC. I really like Tina and I miss her. I went to the vid review panel, run by Killa-the-Goddess-of-Everything (TM) and Lum. It was very positive and constructive. The conversation was good and there was a minimum of griping and/or slamming each other. Kim's Keen Eddie vid made a strong impression as did Kathy and Kay's (maybe it was Jill, though, I'm not totally certain) LA Confidential Vid. There was a very strong SV vid to Le Freak that generated loads of conversation. It was a special effects smorgasbord. The reactions were also a smorgasbord of fannish opinion. We ran out of time before we got to comedy where your and Rache's vid would have been discussed. There was no vid show on Firday night. There just didn't seem to be enough vids at the con at all. The TV/VCR situation is really a damper on fannish vid viewing at the con. Next year I'll bring my little TV and either a cheap DVD player or VCR (or both, depending on our needs). Rache did pay her reg fee for next year ($80) after asking if Shannon and I thought we were going. I said "Yes of course" and Shannon nodded, which was a big commitment for her, given that she and her partner had a big fight about the con.

There are some panel reviews and stuff coming out and I'm certain those are both more coherent and more interesting than my memory would be. I didn't do much with the note taking or really pay so much attention to the panel conversations. Rache and Jenn's panel on No One Owns Fandom was a strong panel. I went to the Age of Sail panel and it was ok -- most Master and Commander and Horatio rather than PotC -- but I did get a bunch of books to read. Rache and Shannon went to the Slashing The Slashers panel which sounded great but probably would have made me squirm. I did come home energized somewhat. Energized enough to want to read fan fiction, which it something of a switch, since I've been really depressed the past few weeks and haven't wanted to do anything, let alone read anything.

Feb 2 Been reading not much lately. But Men of Their Word is interesting. It's a moody piece, trring to be in Norrington's head when he "runs into" Jack at Elizabeth and Will's engagement party. Amusing, but will I read the next 2 parts (only the shadow knows).

Jan 27 I have just finished the Murder series you put in a folder on my desktop.They were pretty good. I like Julad, though she sometimes suffers from the same thing Helen does -- too subtle for her own good. While I didn't understand what freaked Justin out so bad, I did like the premise of the stories. I worked on the diss today, met with Fay, went to a dealio at Ann's and thought about you. I worry about you and I miss you so much. You are so precious to me.

Jan 20 I haven't been reading much. I've been freaking out and not sleeping but not really reading. Today I started Maygra's Credens Furtiva which I hope will function as a reward over the next couple of days of writing.

Jan 2, 2004 Invisible to See by pandarus aka FayJay. Draco/Harry (I think -- rec'd by ajhall).

Dec 27 Today I must write an application to ASU in Tempe. So to make that bearable, I will be reading the DWNOGA stories in order to keep going. Applying for jobs is stressful, I feel fully confident that I won't get one and next year I'll be working in a law office. Sigh. And Here Abideth (for Merry) -- Timbertrick. Persuasion (for torch) -- Nick/Lance -- not so great, it's all tell and no show. Out of Reach (for Rhys) -- Choey. Nice miscommunication, you'll like this one. The Same as Tomorrow (for Halo) JoeC -- bittersweet.

Dec 26 I am suffering from a mild food hangover (I ate a huge piece of chocolate cake, a chocolate cupcake, thai noodles, potatoes and bread yesterday with no regard for my digestive tract). Today, I'm back on the diet and reading the WWTOYTT stories.

First some CSI: Cold Comfort: Nick all alone on Xmas; The Walk (Greg/Nick -- rated G) I have missed some recent eps and this seems to be based on some canon I don't know. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus (Nick/Catherine) Too sweet for my blood and so I have moved on from CSI for now.

HP: The Undertaking (Draco/Ron) -- quite sweet; Herbology and the Art of the Family Tree (Draco/Pansy) -- got some teeth for het (unlike the Nick/Catherine story, she snarked).

IM: Of Oranges and Lard -- not quite the snark of the series, but pretty good. This is why good IM is hard to find: Bobby and Darien's actors had such great chemistry that it's pretty hard to write what they did naturally. Eulogy, or Seduction of the Innocent (Kevin/Arnaud) --- quite nicely done.

Kill Bill: Kou-gyaru. Bc there's not enough girl/grrl like this. Yum.

Pirates: Out of His Depth (Jack/Will) -- love the pirates! It Must be the Rum (Jack/Norrington implied) -- interesting conversation and great premise. I hope she does write the rest. Short and sad: Homebound.

Shanghai Noon/Knight: Wo ai ni and Splash -- I love those guys. I have to go watch our vid now.

SN: Dearly sweet and long for this challenge -- Diversionary Tactics. I loved this show. And, you know, I still have your dvds. I've been trying to hook Mark on it but to no avail. Alas.

SG: Britishisms: Interesting idea, very funny lines. The first SG story (Batter My Heart) has a spelling error or something else wrong in the first paragraph (missing word? missing letter? missing punctuation? -- I can't tell) and I just can't get around it to finish reading the story.

Dec 25 Waiting for time to leave for the food orgy, I've caught up on fearlessdiva's tpm wip. It's quite cute: the Language of Baked Goods. It's all in lj format but it's an enjoyable read. I think it's gotten a bit larger than she originally imagined and so will benefit greatly from being tightened up when she finishes it. Still, I loved Q/O and it was fun to read some new stuff in that universe.

Hmmm. It's Dec 23 and I haven't updated in 2.5 months. Apparently, I suck. I am, however, reading from your iread page today. The Middle Child has nearly broken my heart as I sobbed like a baby over JC's pain. I've started Wedding Cake Theory 3 or 4 times but never finished it. I think it's the pink that puts me off. I'm copying the text into word to see if that helps. You're so right about the Chris is a dog story. la la la la /laura covers her ears and sings to drown out the wrongness of Chris as a dog in a slash story (I feel dirty even typing those words). Old Times was charming but far too short for the story it wants to be. Sweet Justin/Brit yenta-ing though. Double or Nothing is both hot and vaguely, well, upsetting (sick is too harsh). OK, but seriously, HOT!

Oct 6 I need to work on my dissertation today and instead I have been reading lj and Yahtzee's new Remus/Sirius story -- Inhabited by Winter. Reads like there could be more, but does stand alone.

Oct 3 Yesterday was a pretty good day -- I think it's in my top 5 birthdays ever! You may scoff, but here are 3 Hermione/Draco stories: Undone, Unpretty, and Undercurrents. It seems like it could go on, but they all three stand on their own. They are short stories, though, FYI.

Sep 25 Tonight I read The Curious Vengence of Draco Malfoy that you mentioned back in July. I liked it bunches. I really like fanon Draco and have been re-reading ToS like crazy. I can't really say what moves me about that story -- it could be Snape's fierce devotion but it could also be strong, vulnerable Draco. Anyway, Curious Vengence is quite good. You are a women of exquisite taste. Also mentioned by you a while ago Sodomite is a good read -- wanted more, but I did enjoy what I got.

Sep 23 Yesterday I read some other stuff but wanted to convince myself I would stop reading fanfiction and so. Fearless Diva needs to finish up her Silververse, but until she does, she's writing other stuff. Like some Pirates. Interceptor is slight and not so satisfying but that's probably because I so adored Tissue of Silver once I found the crucial missing scene.

Sep 22 There are sequels to Tissue of Silver and some missing scenes, like this delightful piece Famous for Their Discord. So, instead of working, I made a word doc of Tissue of Silver, because reading in lj is massively annoying and put it here. In your format even. Who loves you? And now I'm working, I swear I am. Oooh, and I did read Contingency, which I am also going to format. Thanks for the links!

Sep 21 This weekend I read Tissue of Silver by fearless diva. I was blown away. Great characterization, terrific dialog, angst and pretty much all 'round great reading. Wish I could remember what else I've done this weekend. She is (allegedly) expanding and revising it or so she says on her website, but you can read it in lj format -- which is horrible, I know. I may format it I liked it so much, but I have to get some work done today first.

Sep 17 I have been re-reading Lust Over Pendle in anticipation of the long-awaited next story by A J Hall. However, I can't even find her page, just this ebooks page and her location in the Aparecium Fanfics archive where the Not A Whisper prequel is located. There are about 10 prequels and epilogues, including this one about Harry but they are all over the net.

Sep 16 I am getting in the swing of everything again and I can't believe how tired I am. S/H by Jat_Sapphire What You Want, What I Need. There's something reassuring about S/H, something comforting. I wish I were more well prepared for class, I just don't care right now about them or their learning experiences.

Sep 15 I have to get off this update once every two weeks schedule. I just haven't been reading ANYthing lately. Halrloprillalar's new Lucius Sirius torture fic is unbelievable. I am stunned. I may update the h/c page. This was really quite fantastic: Blood Will Tell. It says there's spoilers for OotP but I still haven't read it and didn't care. Made the pretty Antonio page (that man is so hot!) and should be working. Hurricane Jack is by Shrift is well worth the read -- great capture of Jack's voice. House by kest is a lovely Siruis/Remus story with much angst and little sex. Cori Lannam is writing HP (I have good associations with her name, though I am too lazy to figure out what for *exactly*) and I thought since I was in the HP neighborhood anyway.... Trouble. Fluffy, cute, insubstantial, and yet, kinda satisfying, like snacks can be.

Not working on my dissertation, part 75,301 -- Aug 31 I really enjoyed Primay and Interstitial. Today, I started with a gen, missing scene from Pirates -- it wants to have more emotional punch than it actually does, but I didn't look away either. Scars by Soappuppy. More pirates, Will/Jack (off-screen) by Sleeps with Coyotes, Better. Everything is RPS these days -- it's the new black of fanfiction. So I read a Johnny/Orlando snippet but I don't find it as compelling (yet). :-) Sleep it Off by finduilas_clln. Popslash -- Wedding Cake Theory by nospeudattached (clever pseud for the fandom)

How the hell did it get to be August 26?!? I am reading again (miraculously) and I hope that my life has become somewhat more sane. Stuff I'm reading -- Punk's Smallville -- Interstitial; rec'd by you Primary; Thebes; Big XMen story mentioned by Naomi -- His Terrible Swift Sword

Mid to Late June 03 I have been reading some but not having time to update. Sad.

9-10 June 03 Last night I sat up until 2am reading Transfigurations by Resonant. It's fantastic, interesting, hot, great plot. Harry/Draco, all adult. Lovely characterization. I can't recommend it highly enough. I didn't see it on your iread page. I think you'd love it. So read it, ok?

6 June 03 Depressed girl reading: depressing(ish) TrickC by lily Middle Child. Just fucking ends. Though maybe I need a Chris some times because I feel so fucking lost. all. the time.

3 June 03 JoLa -- very happy JoLa -- complete with miscommunication that you'll love. It's called The Kid and it's by lily (though that's just the name on her lj, there's no name on the story).

1 June 03 I am now done grading. Huzzah! Plus, I need to read for class, because it's not like there aren't 7,000 more things to do. But first -- a response. You objected to my interpretation of Doormat by waxjism and insisted that while it's not happy, JC and Lance are together at the end. Ok, I guess, but I don't buy it, I don't think JC is genuine, I think he's just being used by Lance and there's the issue of Chris and his stake in the situation. I think Lance and JC aren't really going to work out. However, it's not like there are a bunch of clues at the end of the story for speedbumping. It's another one of the sparkly stories that just end. The story just stops -- kerplunk -- and there's no sense of closure or completion. And mostly, I like Wax. She wrote one on my favorite TS stories ever -- Grey Areas. Today I've been reading stuff from the TrickC Hiatus Challenge page. Hiatus by Skeabs. Advantage: Longish. Disadvantage: Second Person, JC pov. Oh, and I'm starting the em stories, but I was momentarily stopped by a younger man towering over the long haired man.

Oh, you did say in iread to read Tertium Quid, a Lex/Lana story. Wow, it's really terrific. Made me want to read SV, if it just falls from the sky onto my computer. :-) And this week I must watch the 4 stargate eps I am behind so I can be ready for Daniel.

27 May 03 I am trying to get through all my grading, which sucks. I really hate grading, I want all grades to be outlawed. From the TrickC Hiatus Challenge, which I have read some of but not, putting the link on my desktop for just such motivationally challgening occcasions, 08.08.02 by Sarah is a sweet, if PG rated JC's birthday story.

27 May 03 I have been inhumanly busy since last Tuesday. Big meeting today with Ann, Lori Anne and Ken, who are my committee. Ann will be present via conference call. Jesus H. Christ, I hate her so much. I have been mostly re-reading for comfort and trying desperately to keep my head about water. My grades are going to be late, I don't have a syllabus for summer school and that starts today and I spent more time than I wanted re-writing my proposal, because that's what Ann thinks is important. Please either shoot me or let me shoot her. I read Betty Plotnik's story, Be Your Own Best Friend and I really didn't like it. I supposed I didn't like it because (I'm in a rotten mood and really hate life) the pairing felt forced to me, like maybe she wrote it for a friend and her heart is really in JoeLa or TimberTrick. Plus, she must not like JC very much because he's peripheral in most of her stories (I skimmed her site but decided if the new one didn't grab me, I should maybe save her for a day when I'm in a better mood.

14 May 03 So, in anticipation of Wango-Tango and because I'm working up to a meeting with Ann this afternoon, I am reading a little. I am reading some stories from this page of JC recs -- JC Slash Recs -- which are spotty but can hold my attention. By a Thread by Lizzie Mills is a sad story about the end of nsync, which made me cry and demonstrated that I am not currently strong. Dead Russians by Gwen is ok but has no sex. Ah well. Another sad offering, and I mean emotionally sad on top of being short and sexless -- Ten Days by JCHalo. I'm going to go take a nap. For a sparkly fandom, it is full of fucking sad stories.

9 May 03 There was no reading this week. Ain't no sunshine when you're gone, baby! But Calvin woke me up tonight, and I couldn't go back to sleep. I read love is a dog from hell by rachel. It's a cute idea, TrickC, that could really be a good story if she felt like writing it. Mrow. Better by Shine is sickfic! -- chris is ill and JC comforts him. No sex, no long conversation, just a sweet moment.

27 Apr 03 If it was week without reading, I'm making up for it this weekend. I was on Sandy Keene's rec page and reading pairings that appealed to me. JoeC The Bluest Ink is ok but it's too sparce. There's not enough relational interaction in it to make me happy. And again, dead end page with no author attribution. I assume this is paranoia but it's very annoying. And another Joey -- gen -- nothing much here, just a little time filler -- The Best Therapists are Inanimate by stubbleglitter.

26 Apr 03 A week with no reading. It's difficult to believe and yet. Well, I did re-read some stuff but nothing new until today. I'm reading stories off that page in your lj comments called peach cobbler, pixie stix. There are some I've read before but enjoyed re-reading, like the bird story. I haven't read much gsf because I've been just not interested but there was this story, Wasted Away by Allen, and she really got me because of her choice of lead in snippet:
"That's it," he heard Chris say, and then a hand was pulling the glass away and a humid mouth covered his, and he had time to register Chris's scent and the tart taste of lime. Then Chris slid away and Joey was kissing him with spicy warm lips and JC forgot to fight it, forgot to breathe, looped his arms around Joey's neck and clung, while Chris cackled somewhere off to JC's right.
And I felt like I had to see what lead up to that. It's pretty much pwp, with Lance and Justin off to their side, doing it on the couch. But it was right up my alley for hotness. Shuddering for Days by Cliokat bassez. eh. From this site, I found torch's rpf. Now, I didn't read this before because I thought it was Justin/Nick and well, just say "no to Nick" is something I've been trying to live up to. But. This was fantastically hot and I want to play that game.

20 Apr 03 I did nothing much today and no reading. Did go sailing, though. And this

Cute Flirt
What Kind of FLIRT are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
These kind of things really amuse me and yet I can't bring myself to post them in my lj. Mosly because of the gingham and suspenders. She's my every Oregon-girl nightmare. Me and Daisy Lee Hazzard for crying out loud!

17 Apr 03 I did some reading off your page today. Kitchenware by amy13. Her page is a trip -- no identifiers, even on her lj. Very fun story though. Re-read In This World by Rhys. Sigh. That story just makes me so happy.

16 Apr 03 Some catch up reading before class prep tonight. Rhys TrickyFish story Boyfriend. Very sweet. Followed by Doormat by waxjism, an unusual JC-is-domestically-abused-by-OMC story. After Chris intimidates the OMC away, JC then gets involved with Lance but, in the end, doesn't get to stay with him (for no clear reason).

15 Apr 03 Ah, tax day. First by Arsenic. Sweet sweet JoeC.

14 Apr 03 Home from school, relaxing a bit before dinner. Read the Joey/Howie story you were looking for and someone found. Wish I could remember what Howie looked like. Oh, well. Joey getting some is all good, though it's very curtains billowing kind of sex. Still, after seeing them at the Olympics with you this weekend, it was all the more special. Thaw by Arsenic. Then I started Textbook Case by Arsenic. This is a prep HS AU. Choey with a side of Bassez. Fun.

9 Apr 03 Shades of Grey by Shine TrickC but Justin watches.

8 Apr 03 Long time, no reading. I've been really busy and really stressed and down out of my mind. The school was charging me a $100 late registration fee and denied my appeal. So I called my friend Karen The Dean and she fixed it. I was in tears by the time I called her. It's just $100 bucks and yet, I couldn't let go. Could. Not. I'm not a healthy person. But today I went back to do some reading. First, I did find the JC's blind story In the Faces of Men and Women I See God (yay me!) and read it. The title is almost longer than the story (ha ha). But it's from this link page: In a room full of people you're the only one around. I read Company by Lesa Soja. I'm afraid of running out. And I don't have any other fannish interests these days, either, so that fear is really big. I'm a freak, yes, I am.

Spectacularly hot and long(ish) before you by Amber. TrickC.

26 Mar 03 Popcorn bites of popslash, trickc flavored. Slide by Emmy is something that starts off promising and then just ends. Hot but not completely satisfying. Halloween by Emmy is cute. Again with the short.

25 Mar 03 Waiting for you to call back. Reading from the Norah Jones songfic challenge: About a Boy by jchalo. How can a challenge be "closed"? Seems like that's something that would just be on-going. Also read Crazy for You by Marion which was part of another songfic challenge.

21 Mar 03 This has been the mother of all shitty weeks. (note to self so as not to forget to catch you up on all the hell: Gabriella, Joy, Nathan, conference). But on to the reading: Betty P's livejournal Kittenfish(ish): Playmate. Plus a very sad Sandy Keene -- Lighted Windows -- about Justin, who's kidnapped and brain damaged (what is the fannish fascination with brain damage?!). I didn't finish because I'm not that strong. Bitter Aging Queen by Bitterchick which was kind of schizophrenic and yet very short. Still, wished for more.

20 Mar 03 Up, struggling to be conscious and face all the busy work I need to do today. Shakespeare in Love by Chris J for Joey month (JoeC). Very sad kittenfish, Killed the Cat also by Chris J (is she also CJ?). Taking a break from her for a while. Even trying to avoid the sad, I find more of it. Dia de los Muertos by Betty P is a Chris/Dani break up over Justin story. Sniff, though, 'cause Chris and Justin aren't together at the end, Chris is just alone.

19 Mar 03 Today was a fucking shitty day. And then the war started. So some escapism seemed in order. It's the in second person but Alberta by Bitterchick has an interesting twist. It's in the second person, though. I really find that a stiffling style, I don't understand the appeal to writing it or reading it. Still, this story was pretty (nice images and layout) and I enjoyed it. For once, I was glad it wasn't very long, though.

18 Mar 03 Lived through St. Pat's day with no drunken brawls and no snakes. This is LA afterall. Reading: The Legendary Grapefruit Gurus of Southern California by . It's TrickC with some very funny lines such as "Grapefruit? Wily." Snerk. Oh, btw, I didn't finish Cuisine. I have enough body issues without JC's getting all over me and Lance.

16 Mar 03 Cuisine by Calico -- promises to be Kittenfish, found on the slasho'matic. I'm about half-way through it and I may not finish it. They seem to have body issues and I can't tell where it's going (maybe JC thinks Lance is fat but maybe Lance thinks Lance is fat). Still, it's not making me as happy as my Lance/JC winamp skin and when I'd rather look at my winamp while it's playing than read a story... well, that doesn't say good things about something (the story or me, it's hard to be sure which). Lanning's next installment, Groundwork is up and wow, she is so terrific. I read it the first time so fast, I can barely appreciate all the work she's done. It takes 2 or 3 readings to really feel like I'm giving her the attention her writing deserves.

15 Mar 03 This is lame. An entire week and no real reading -- though I did read some from the pops folder. I'm trying to find those now, hoping for some live links to add here. First of a Million Kisses by willow is on wax's site. Yummy. I'm trying to dl the song but it's nowhere on kazaa (yet). So I'm looking for this JC is blind story to post into your comments section -- I know I saw it and didn't read it because it started so sad I didn't think I could bear it -- and stopped by Synchronik's page and read Hit, a KittenFish pleasure. It's not perfect but it's very good. I want more talking or something, I don't know. Maybe I'm just impossilbe to please. Still looking for the blind JC story, though <G>.

8 Mar 03 There's a trickc hiatus challenge here. I have been reading through it slowly. Puppies in a Box by Sheherazade has a big set of grammatical errors at the climatic moment in the story and I was really annoyed. So, right now. Hated it. But it was kinda sweet in that misspelled words, missing apostrophes kind of way. I haven't raced through the stories because I'm worried it might be sad like by the first one I read, November by Rachel. Nothing's right at the end. I've started a long Kittenfish story -- Run Smooth by Slim and Without Me. So far, so good. It's from the kink archive, under first times.

7 Mar 03 Another day another feeling of being completely fucked. Everything is messed up. But before I went to WC and the day went to hell, I read shiny shiny pants and bleach blond hair the Jefff Tweedy (who I've never heard of) Lance/Brit OTP story. It was adorable. I really loved it. I may format it, I liked it so much. Barbara gave me some printed out popslash and I'll tell you what they are this weekend (I've been reading those stories before bed). I hope you're feeling better. I'm sorry you were sick this week -- that sucks.

5 Mar 03 This morning some jerk called my cell at 5:30am and woke me up. Then he had the nerve to ask what I do for a living that I get to sleep so late. Motherfucker. I hate him. His name is Rick and he lives in Newport Beach which means not only is he an asshole, he's a rich asshole and I hope some other rich asshole in an SUV runs him down today. Grrrr. So, I couldn't go back to sleep and I should be prepping for class (because that is what I should always be doing) and instead I read a DWNOGA story I don't remember reading -- Safe Places by bad_elizabeth. KittenTrick and a little contrived and such but fun. This morning I am hard to amuse. Feel sorry for my students.

3 Mar 03 Some stories you sent me to I read before but (apparently) didn't mention here for whatever reason. Stupid Girl is quite moving. I like Britney and this just made me feel so badly for her. They're Out and About is so delightful. I really liked Justin in this story and that's saying something.

2 Mar 03 Short story today before I go to work (when did my life become all work and no play?) -- Passages by Chris J. Futurefic, JoeC, teenage Brihana (or however it's spelled). November by Rachel is unbearably sad and yet, because it was short, I finished it (TrickC).

After Escapade (27 Feb 03) I had a terrific time at the con. I did read some little bits of things during this week, grabbing a few precious minutes of downtime daily to check in on stuff. Take it Like is a bittersweet but hopeful Kittenfish. Touch is KittenTrick but it's a little ... unusual. In fact, bendy or not, it's unbelievable to me. But that may just be me. I've been reading some Joey stories lately, though many of them are much more bitter and sad than bitter and sweet or even just sweet. Amerika by Skeabs (which I always read as Skalab, that TS author and I don't really believe they're the same person). This story is set in the time between being big in Germany and being big in the states and is JoeC (is there another name for them?). English as He Spoke It is by one of the Sandys and it's TrickC. They also are big withthe bittwesweet. Here I am in the happyhappyjoyjoy fandom and all around me is unhappiness. Sigh. Plus, you're too far away, yo. But I love my CD and listen to it every day.

13 Feb 03 This is deceptive. I read Platonic by Rhys (and all its related stories) over the past couple of days. But since I read it piecemeal, I didn't put it on here until I was done. Today I read Red Hot Cool by Betty Plotnik and I wanted more more more. But I have work to do first. So much work. Always work.

9 Feb 03 Yesterday was the bash. Emile was there, she's a big 'sync fan. Loves Lance. Has met them all for the show she works on "The Proud Family." Chris said he'd do some voice-over stuff for it. She was involved in a big blow out with Helen in 2000 re: a story she wrote that helen borrowed the universe from (a/u medieval times thing). I remember this from the time and I read the story then but I didn't really connect with it. I need to re-read it now. It was fun to giggle and hear fannish gossip about the boys. Talked to Sue about SG and that fannish gossip and then, just, well, fell apart on Brenda and Meg and bawled about my parents. Don't know what came over me, just the ennui of being around so many people to tell again (and again). Chris McKinney's dad died last Nov, too and I was expressing condolences to her and we were both crying and. Bleh. I hope the con isn't like this, I hate falling apart. It was good to to back to JC chat, even though Emile is a vet of the fandom, been through loads of fannish battling. Emile pointed me to Lois Lane's fiction and I'm reading her serial (JoeC) All That You Can't Leave Behind. Which is still a great buffy vid in my mind. It's long and yummy and I'm on chapter 6. Great angst everywhere. I hope it has a happy ending or I shall cry. More.

5 Feb 03 No reading yesterday. Wah. Plus no talking Monday and only a little yesterday. My life sucks. Last night visited Mark and Melody. They discovered some serious problems with her pregnancy on Monday afternoon. She is now consigned to bed rest and a special diet and the prognosis for the fetus is not good (she's in the 16th week). Last night we took food supplies, videos, books and good cheer to their house. It's all just hard and so sad. They're doing the best they can, he's been unemployed and while CA has a great disability leave act, she still isn't getting paid even though her health insurance isn't cut-off. Our world sucks sometimes.

Today I'm not going to get much reading either, but as a little reward I read Like I Love You by strandia, a JoLa snippet. I fixed The Word Is link (sorry about that, it's what comes from doing too many things at once<g>). This fandom seems to have some fixation with unexplained doubles. Just -- bam! -- here's a double. And I I by Amber is a double JC story that's very bittersweet. TrickC with an emphasis on the C. But no threesome, my joke is dumber than that. 1001 is also by Amber. It's Trickyfish, but it's not so good. Very little emotional payoff (if any, honestly) and not much sex. Just sort of a set of incomplete moments. (bitchy? me?)

3 Feb 03 I didn't have a chance to read more than Merry's Wolves and Boybands Mate for Life this weekend. I wrote her about it and she didn't respond. It's a solid story, lots of meat there, some serious hints about Justin/Lance and very solid, miscommunicated (you're favorite) kittentrick. I formatted it and printed it out. I have done that with a few stories this fandom, but not so many. Kissed with Heat by Rhys is a nice little mood piece and a good way to start the day. The last monday of its kind for many months (WC starts on Thursday and from here on, Mondays I'm off to teach). Instead of working on any of the 100,000 things i have to do, after I sent you the Helen stuff I read The Way You Do It by Helen. TrickC and very sweet. Just ends. Stops. Is over. But was a pleasant ride until the abrupt stop. Straight Man by Rhys helps me continue my procrastination. It doens't make me hate my life much less though. It's funny in that EIG way but I kinda feel sorry for Yenta!Joey, surrounded by all his paired off friends.

31 Jan 03 Coming of Age is very sad. Plus, since my TAs smoke all the time, I'm extra grossed out by it in stories. After my Thursday morning meetings with them, I smell, I feel like my hair will never be fluffy again and I worry about their lungs. And mine, too. The Word Is (ref to a Beatles song is immediately worth liking in my mind) and this little story by halo is very adoreable. And I must run off to WC and see what's what down there (working on the pair).

30 Jan 03 [edited 31 Jan, am] I have all of Helen's stuff that you gave me. I have even formatted some it and, as rewards for progress on my WC syllabi tonight, I will make them into your format (I actually went to bed at 8:30 and fell immediately asleep, which is incredibly rare -- so I'll send 'em today after you say the word). Because you are The Most Wonderful Woman EVER(tm)! Ok, and, having said that, can I just say that the fonts on your iread page are getting smaller every time you send it to me and I think sometimes that I might go blind trying to see what you think I should read. So, the tiny yellow link on that black background looked like this: Dare by Drew. I always knew there had to be some teenage-boy explanation for some of those fashion don'ts... and the rest of the text is white on that black background. I blindly clicked, hoping for kittenfish and wow -- it is a terribly adoreable story that is too damned short and twice as sweet. Dare by Drew. Coming of Age by Sandy Keene. Started but not read yet.

28 Jan 03 Disarm by Jae (all I read today I read because of sweet, wonderful you) is a delicate little story, leading you one place and actually taking you someplace else. Because you're in Lance's head the whole time, you're lulled into agreeing with his perceptions. But really, by the end of the story you know it's Lance who's really changed and JC who's really on to Lance. Nicely done, I liked that ride quite a bit. Not Yet by Halo is so unbearably sweet and wonderful. How did you hold that out on me?! Monster trucks (snerk). Nice betaing, btw. Very touching story. I know all the things I would write on you, in vivid colors and bold strokes. So many words. Sigh. What lovely stories, I am completely pleased and will do something else for a while because I just can't imagine a story as pleasurable as Tattoo and Hallelujah were.

27 Jan 03 I just read the most pointless story. I was convinced it would have a point and so I kept reading. And, yet, still, after some amount of time. No. Point. Don't read it unless you feel like pointlessness is your friend. Because two JCs and no sex. Not with ANY of the guys, not with each other. No sex. Just many incomplete sentences and even more imcomplete plot. My god, what are people doing?! Saturated by V. I got to it off a JoeC page and I was optimistic. And now, I'm surrounded by utter pointlessness. And bitter about it, thankyouverymuch. Western Union Desparate by Sandy Keene was interesting. JC in LA and pining for Joey (who he'll never tell) and getting very disappointed in LA. Did JC and Joey know each other In The Time Before? Montana by Rhys is a damned fine story, one I'll format because I know I'll reread it. Would have liked the homecoming scene, but beyond that, I'm a happy woman. One who's going to work. Like, now.

26 Jan 03 Today I still have to work on my exam for next week. Because yesterday. Well, yesterday I didn't get so much done. Not so much at all. Sad, but true. Tonight's first inspirational reading is Safe Places by bad_elizabeth and is part of the DWNOGA challenge. TrickC, very cute. Traditions. Well, what can I say? More with the second person (what's up with that and JC's pov?!) and it's a xmas story. But sweet. Really, quite adorable. I read a couple more DWNOGA stories but they weren't even really fluff, they were the smell of fluff. Not memorable, but kittenfish(ish). Master Plan by Amber is TrickC and it's pretty interesting. I thought the ending was rushed. There's loads of yummy Chris angst and a brilliant break-up and then a short, don't blink, reunion and -- poof (or pooofffuu) it's over. The end. Finis. Whatever. MOREMOREMORE (who me? insatisable? Nah. Really?)

25 Jan 03 Today I have to do work on my exam for next week. Exams are quite hard to write, so naturally I am reading a treatise on how to write exams. Because there's a book for EVERYthing. But there's also SDBs for everything and I read Lucy Hale's The Good, The Bad and (TrickC sort of) which wanted to be hurt-comforty but was mostly just sniffle fic (there was a little blood but not the serious rape story I thought she was setting us up for). Is there no rape in this fandom? All those boys who cry so easily and no rape and rape recovery stories? I'm shocked. Also read Soft Rain by Icebun (again with the very strange pseuds). This story is in her journal, but it's pretty hot (kittenfish). I can't connect to crackfic, which is all TrickC and it's making me crazy and depressed. Must work, I guess.; But no, I was able to connect to crackfic and I"m reading their links page. Synesthete by the lovely poet is really quite inventive. I like what she's trying to do here, it's unusual and interesting. (oh, uh. TrickC, like you didn't know already.) LOL funny is Here We Go by Allecto. Seriously, this story is ridiculous but hysterical.

JC's eyes went round. He stared at Chris, his jaw dropping. "You. You."
"You're very cute when you're angry."
"TEMPORAL PARADOX!" JC said.
"Sure," Chris said. "'Cause you know so much about physics."

Then, after watching Et Tu Mama Tambien with Terry and Randy (and a super boring Derrida documentary -- fucking philosophy) I read the Kittenfish in Germany you sent me Sex Sells. I liked this story, I just wanted some follow up on Lance's freakout to go with all that very hot sex. Then I read Family by Slimslash and Withoutme and found great angst and no hot sex whatsoever. So, I've formatted and printed out Here We Go because it made me so happy and I'm off to crash, thoughts of sparkly dancing boys in my head.

24 Jan 03 Had this big old To Do List and it's nearly all complete. 1 task=1 story. Lucky me there are so many. From the blog front: Escort by Cecilia is very sweet (JC teaches Lance to dance for a debutante ball). Flame and Sudbury by Rhys. Persuasion by jchalo (link to journal entry). One Day to Fly by Hammerhead (note: where do people get these pseuds?). More reading than thinking about reading today.

{added Saturday morning: I kinda relapsed there for a couple of hours and felt really like shit. I waited too long to eat and my antibiotic let me know in no uncertain terms that was unacceptable. Ugh. Sorry for no return phone call. I suck sometimes.}

23 Jan 03 Back on the Lucy Hale reading bandwagon. Look at Me -- which was pretty good. I'm not convinced by the characterization of JC (how pompous is that?!) because she didn't give me enough evidence that he was absorbed except in the sex. Needed some more showing, IMO. The fight in Embarassment was a bit OTT -- it's like she wanted it to be extreme and it was but it was shrill. Maybe I need to read another author for a bit and use Lucy as a breather from other stories. Because I really like her conversations.

I totally enjoyed The Lance Bass Song, which you sent me today. I was hoping, as JC whumphed all of Lance's food, that there was going to be a very hot 3-way in this story. But alas. Still, interesting dialog and dilemmas and cute behaviors. It's also nice to have a story that doens't make them all 5 have to be around. And I imagined them eating their large breakfast in BC's (where we went to brunch with Susan). ;-)

22 Jan 03 You won't beleive the day I had. I was sick all day. Started vomitting at 5:30 am and basically vomited every hour until I went to the Dr. at 1:30. She had a miracle. She had a shot. And it made me stop vomitting. Apparently, I have a virulent bladder infection. Sheesh, I liked those better when I felt like I was peeing straight pins. So it's antibiotics and toast for me for a couple of days. Rest. That stuff. But I'm still going to teach tomorrow. Show a video about MLK. Wish I was still in bed. Lucy Hale is my pre-crash reward, because I so enjoyed Best Laid Plans. Like That. And, you guessed it, TrickC. Second person, JC. Very strange style to read. But still, like the story. It's not 100% love or anything, but it's interesting.

21 Jan 03 Recs from Torch today -- but only the new ones. Well, one, really because "just say no to the backstreetboys" is my story and I'm sticking to it. Whisper by Jae. Fun idea, a little short (a chronic complaint, I know) and yet with a gem of a Chris and delightful JC (yes, TrickC, -- and uh, shouldn't lance/jc be dixieC?!) Plus the Laugh out loud quote of the day (before Andrew on BtVS).

"Look, is this one of those weird spiritual things you're always reading about, where we're supposed to just sit together and, like, commune, and once we're truly bonding I'll hear your voice in my head and you'll hear mine and we won't have to talk out loud ever again? Cause you know what, I got no problem with talking out loud, and I've got quite enough voices in my head already, thank you."

And then there's Rhys's Noticed (again with the TrickC andthe witty). And also. Too short.

"My passion, man, my passion will destroy us all!"

Best Laid Plans by Lucy Hale. A/U, High School, Joey "Machiavelli" Fatone. Really sweet story, kissing only but still all about the trickC.

20 Jan 03 Ok, I'm now a popslash believer. Though you must keep the BSBoys away from me, except in very witty crossovers. I think the sweetest TrickC I've read so far, and certainly one I know I'll re-read (drama, angst, boats, sex outside and did I mention boats!) is In this World by rhys. Oh my god, it's so sweet and yet, not cloying. She's good with dialog, too. I also enjoyed Intimacy by Black Coffee. There were a few typos I found really disconcerting and I didn't finish it, but only because she should have put Justin in the middle so I would have had to work for the TrickC.