Two years ago, I was fairly new to world of fan fiction and wrote a ridiculous column where I was pretty nasty to a lot of people. That column generated an astounding 600 pieces of email; most of it hate-mail, all of it justified. I sit here now two years later and I find it amazing that after reading that “article”, I felt compelled to write an update on my progress as a maturing individual. I sit here now as a single, divorced, mother who hasn’t updated her stories in about a year because she has shifted her focus from aspiring writer to crabby critic. Go figure. Two years later, I became what I bashed in my column. I became a full-fledged fan fiction elitist with enough snarl to make the teenagers cry. What caused this change of heart or as I prefer to call it, evolution?

I hate Mary-Sues with the fire of 1 million suns. Honestly, if I read one more story starring a pasty, crystal gray-eyed, fire-haired, white chick with a Japanese name, I will start invading computers like the Ghost in the Machine. Like the smell of fricasseed fangirl? I sure do. Don’t even get me started on real-person fics or fics based on movies based on true events…i.e.: Black Hawk Down and The Diary of Anne Frank. People who write fic slash fan fiction starring two soldiers that were in Mogadishu just because Josh Hartnet “iz the hawtezt eva” ought to have their keyboards taking away. My discontent with BHD fan fiction led to my banishment from a forum that I had belonged to for about 6 months. Apparently, the webmistress wrote a lot of BHD fan fiction and found my opinion of it…undesirable. Her website has since crashed and burned because her screws were a tad loose. Then there is the major pet peeve; fan-brats who insist on romanticizing things like rape, the Holocaust, 9/11, you know the type. If an object of lust can be conveniently inserted into the tragedy, nothing is sacred.

Some may have noticed that I have made appearances on such Livejournal groups like FanficRants where I do unleash a vitriolic spewage against those writers that I used to defend. And yes, I have noticed, Miss Cereta, that on one of my rants you resurrected your infamous “Elitist Ding Dong” icon. I laughed upon seeing it, good stuff. Incidentally, I still receive the occasional hate-mail for the article in which I reply to the sender that “that was two years ago and honestly, you ought to get over it.” Obviously, they never reply back which is too bad. I find myself lurking at GAFF (when it is accessible due to their crappy server) and agreeing with everything they say. However, I did get creeped out when I realized that some of the disgruntled GAFFers had tracked me to another forum, read some personal info that I only posted on that forum, and decided to spread it around on a few other forums including GAFF. Needless to say, I was a bit miffed. That’s a little extreme for retaliation for something some Shmoe wrote for a symposium. Especially since I received a few nasty emails from some people regarding that particular subject that had absolutely nothing to do with fan fiction and neither did the forum that I posted such info on. I do hope that particular person did some growing up of his/her own over the past two years.

Anyways, it’s been an interesting ride since having plunged into the battle on the opposite team of the one I started on. It’s one that seems to parallel my offline life as I was forced to grow up in several ways. Going from a bored housewife to a single mother who works full time causes one’s perspective to change. I developed a distaste for poorly executed stories both fiction and fan fiction alike along with my distaste for male paramedics (that’s a story for another time). I grow impatient with stories less creative then what my 5 year old could conceive.

In short, I actually thank those who sent me hate-mail because it probably saved my life. After that whole situation, just a few short months afterward, I left my emotionally and mentally abusive husband. I credit the hate-mail that caused much head-banging for knocking some sense into me. It made me realize what was truly important and that was the safety of myself and my girls. Sometimes it takes something as silly as intarwebz wars over fan fiction to change lives. Mostly, at this point though, the fact that some people still talk about what I wrote brings laughter and a sense of flattery. The internet is a huge place and if you can still rile emotions years later, you made a statement. Even if it was a whiny, poorly written, statement.

And for the record, I never sent hate-mail to Maddox. He makes me laugh to hard to send him any emails let alone negative feedback. But thanks to whomever originally spread the rumor that I did. *blows raspberries*

Have fun, kids. I shall return to internet bullying of fan-turds, MySpace offers a delectable buffet of all sorts of idiots ripe for the picking.