This document is rated R (adults only). It includes non-explicit male/male sex. If this is what you came for, scroll down. If it isn't, hit the Back button.
Talk to the Characters
In August 2003, a meme went around LiveJournal in which readers would ask a question, and the characters from a story would answer it. So here are the questions and the answers that originally appeared in my livejournal.
villainny
to exFrog!Harry:
When you used to think of flies, was Snape ever shooting at them? =)
resonant8
'course not. They're only good alive. When they're dead, they're disgusting.
sinick
Oh! And here I've always thought you were talking about the flies of Sev's trousers (and the delights that lay behind)resonant8
[chortle]
What is it, Potter?
[chortle chuckle giggle]
What is all that abominable wheezing about?
She thinks you wear ... trousers! [giggle snicker]
Oh, very mature, Potter. I suppose you'd have a giggling fit if I said 'bottom,' too, would you?
[helpless laughter]
Yes, I thought so -- ouch! Oh, you will pay for that, you --
millefiori
To Transfigurations Draco: How did you ever manage to win over a couple of tough birds like McGonagall and Granger?
resonant8
By risking a brutal and agonizing death in order to help their side win. Naturally.
Well, all right, yes, there's more to it than that. Once I had put my own skin on the line -- and provided useful information -- 'Mione was predisposed to think that I meant well, and that I was a loyal ally, but she was a long way from considering me a friend.
To be honest, I think the turning point there was when I proved that there were a few things I could do better than she could.
What?
Scoff if you like. She's reasonably good at everything she turns her hand to, but she can't be the best at everything. I can best her at potions-making, for instance. And, not coincidentally, at cooking.
Hm?
Isn't it obvious? It wasn't enough that she could trust me. I had to make her respect me.
As for Kitty -- well, she had a weakness for shortbread dipped in dark chocolate. (I believe I mentioned I have a certain flair in the kitchen?) And for ... I suppose there's no harm in telling you ... knock-knock jokes, which 'Mione's cousin Leah was good enough to keep me well supplied with.
tinderblast
Harry, I'm curious about the 'accio chocolate' spell that you performed immediately after returning to your human form. Does this spell imply that you were aware of your surroundings and experiences at all times when in frog form in that you imitated Snape summoning the insects? Which is why you, you know, knew Snape's preferred, er, tempo, amongst other things?
Snape, what made you choose to put stones into Harry's bowl?
resonant8
I think it might be unwise to answer that. [looks over shoulder] I think it would most definitely be unwise to answer that.
He still won't admit that he talked to me.
Heck, he still won't admit he talks to Basho, even though I've caught him doing it. Nor that he occasionally summons a fly for him and then lets it go because it's not fat enough.
resonant8
I had hoped to minimize the creature's incessant splashing about by giving it something else with which to amuse itself. A splash at the wrong time can mean the difference between a potion that can cure a chupacabra of worms and a potion that merely grows intriguing but permanent crystals in the bottom of a formerly useful cauldron.
This sort of caution, sadly, has failed to have much of an impact on Potter, even now that his brain is allegedly somewhat larger than a walnut.
tinderblast
Snape, at what point did you become conscious of the fact that you didn't entirely hate the non-frog Potter? Was it when you Transfigured the spare bed?resonant8 I quickly discovered that the brat was considerably less vexatious when he was asleep.
I fear that he is aware of this.
icarusancalion
To Transfigurations Dr. Granger: tell me what a typical day was like with young Draco Malfoy in your employ? Do you miss him? And would you give him a good reference?
resonant8 Do you think she means me, love, or you?
No, I don't suppose it does.
Yes, all right. Make me a cup, too, there's a dear.
A typical day with Draco ... well, there really wasn't any such thing, I'm afraid. You just never knew what he would take in stride and what would baffle him entirely. One day I was working in the file office, and he opened a drawer, and there was, you've seen them, a staple remover? [makes "chewing-teeth" gesture with one hand] And he set it on the desk and simply laughed at it. Fifteen minutes he was playing with the staple remover and laughing.
Thought he might be a bit of a mooncalf at first, I did. But there's more to our Draco than meets the eye.
Miss him? Oh, my dear, you have no idea. Of course, things are quieter now with Becky taking care of the practice. No more lost papers, no more offended matrons, no more young girls batting their eyelashes at him -- and young men, too, mind you.
But we miss his ready wit. We have several patients that I'm quite unable to think of by their real names, now that I've heard what Draco called them.
And of course Sundays he used to come round and make blueberry waffles. I miss those waffles.
Anonymous
Transfigurations Draco:
You seemed to be in love with - or at least feel very deeply for - Harry very early on in your 'relationship', even when it was supposedly 'just shagging'. How and why did this come about? Was it a long-standing feeling from even the Hogwarts days or something else? Thank you for answering.
resonant8
Well, it was obvious that he needed me, wasn't it? The poor fellow was hardly even functioning without me. Couldn't even sleep at night.
I felt sorry for him, honestly.
I've felt sorry for poor Potter since the day I first saw his knobby knees sticking out from under a pinned-up robe at Madame Malkin's.
somniesperus
To Snape from "Down, You Lie Down Too": What was going through your mind when you accepted Harry's sexual advances?
resonant8
I do not know, querent, whether you have ever been a warrior. It seems at times that I have never been anything else.
The first change that war wreaks upon the personality is a necessary callousness: an ability to step over a screaming, dying comrade without looking down in order to continue with the fight.
At the same time, however, one also comes to feel a certain tenderness toward one's compatriots, in all their laughable humanity. Their quirks and failings are luxuries of peacetime, and as such, they come to seem precious, worthy of protection.
One may feel hatred during wartime, or an almost murderous irritation -- especially when food and sleep are scarce. But simple dislike rarely survives the first battle.
The everyday reality of war tends, too, to wear away the polite distance observed in peacetime. Bodily modesty is of course sacrificed. Privacy of thought is also often set aside for a time, and one may share with near strangers thoughts and memories which one would previously have blushed to discuss with one's closest kin.
There is, in a word, a kind of impersonal intimacy between comrades in war. I am told that some naturally reticent people consider their wartime relationships to be the closest and most profound of their lives for this reason, though I cannot attest to this from direct experience.
Thus, upon discovering young Potter asleep in my pallet, my first reaction was a literal wish to hex him into a small heap of ashes for disturbing the first sleep I had had in several days. My second reaction, when reason returned, was quite simply to discover what he needed, and, if possible, to provide it -- whether it were a healing potion, or warmth, or reassurance, or simple skin contact, or something more complicated.
There is, as I am sure is well known, no particular affection between Potter and me. Quite the contrary, in fact. However, he is my comrade, and I am prepared to see to it that he lacks nothing that I am able to provide.
I am sure he stands ready to do the same for me, if it should prove necessary.
vickichix
to Harry and Draco (Transfigurations) Hey next time you two get it on can I watch? *Big Devious (yet cute) Grin*
With Love from Moaning Myrtle XXXX
resonant8
Oak and ash, Potter. Your friends are achieving whole new levels of tastelessness.
My friends?
Naturally, your friends. I'm not the one who's intimately acquainted with the spirits who haunt girls' toilets.
No, only the spirit who haunts the closet with all Filch's shackles and floggers.
...
[grinning] Didn't know I knew about that, did you.
[clears throat] You've, uh. Been talking with, uh.
With Sir Tantalus Sittingbourne, yes. He says he's showed you all sorts of interesting objects.
I, uh. Think it's only proper that a future headmaster should have a detailed knowledge of all facets of Hogwarts' history.
Uh-huh. Would it interest the future headmaster to know that I have the current caretaker's permission to borrow certain historical facets for personal use?
...
Come on, Draco. Draco. Walk this way. Just -- that's it. One foot in front of another. We'll talk about this upstairs. -- 'bye, Myrtle!
-end-
Feedback me at resonant8@sbcglobal.net
Posted to LiveJournal August 8, 2003, and to website April 28, 2004
http://trickster.org/res/askchar.html