• the cowardly thief
• the little thief
• the Delta
• the Delta thief
• the rebel leader
• the curly-haired rebel
• the burly rebel
• the gentle rebel
• the blonde pilot
• the blonde smuggler
• the blonde woman
• the black girl
• the weapons tech
• the blonde girl
• the blonde gunslinger
• the blonde assassin
• the computer expert
• the emotionless computer expert
• the computer tech

• the computer man
• the Alpha
• the Alpha computer tech
• the computer scientist
• the blonde smuggler
• the Auron telepath
• the alien woman
• the curly-haired alien
• the slim woman
• the slim alien
• the pilot
• the tall pilot
• the younger man
• the younger curly-haired rebel
• the curly-haired pilot
• the box of lights
• the crabby box
• the irritated computer
• the perspex box

• the blond(e) vampire
• the shorter vampire
• the taller vampire
• the brooding vampire
• the souled vampire
• the Irish vampire
• the British vampire
• the chipped vampire
• the Slayer
• the blonde Slayer
• the brunette Slayer

• the younger Slayer
• the tiny killer
• the red-haired witch
• the older man
• the younger man
• the high school boy
• the vampire in leather
• the leather-clad vampire
• the Irish demon
• the dark-haired, insane vampire

• the rugged forensics investigator
• "the Grumpy Santa" (I swear to god)

• the traumatized forensic investigator
• the usually calm, reasonable man

• the dark-haired man
• the redhead
• the archer
• other two superheroes
• the two heroes
• the other speedster
• the former Boy Wonder*
• the former Wonder Girl*
• a certain Navajo-raised superhero
• the Armani-clad half of the pair

* Note from the contributor: in fairness, these two make sense in context - the POV is someone who really would think of them that way. The joy of a fandom with canon epithets ;)

• The caped persona
• the gymnast
• the dark-haired young hero
• the playboy billionaire
• the black-and-azure clad legend
• the Bludhaven hero
• the young vigilante
• the black-clad vigilante
• the bound man
• the sable-haired athlete

• the Ice Queen
• the dear Inspector
• the Mountie

• the detective
• the Italian detective
• the Chicago detective

• the tall white haired man dressed in black
• the elder
• the elder vampire

• the gorgeous blond haired man
• the master vampire
• the boy

• the braided baka
• the braided pilot
• the braided boy
• the braided-boy
• the braided Preventer
• the braided young man
• the uni-banged young man
• the ex-Gundam pilot

• the little blond business man
• the longhaired man
• the auburn hair boy
• the quiet boy
• the pale blond man
• the fortified teenager
• the lean, mean, gorgeous Chinese man

• the Gryffindor
• the brave Gryffindor
• the slim Gryffindor
• the brunette Gryffindor
• the green-eyed Gryffindor
• the unrestrained Gryffindor
• the impassive Gryffindor
• the noble Gryffindor
• the sleepy Gryffindor
• the reckless Gryffindorian
• the Slytherin
• the blond Slytherin
• the blonde Slytherin

• the sliver blond Slytherin
• the white blond Slytherin
• the ash blonde Slytherin
• the silver-haired Slytherin
• the grey-eyed Slytherin
• the sarcastic Slytherin
• the sulky Slytherin
• the shaking Slytherin
• the sexy Slytherin
• the now-seated Slytherin
• the sleek Slytherin
• the smooth Slytherin

• the Potions Master
• the greasy Potions master
• the unwashed Potions Master
• the graceful Potions Master
• the silently suffering Potions Master

• the professor
• the Potions professor
• the Prefect
• the Gryffindor Prefect
• the tired Prefect

• the teen
• the older man
• the boy
• the other boy

• the younger man
• the younger male
• the youngster

• the blonde
• the lanky blond
• the hunk
• the dark-haired virgin
• the blond teen
• the blonde teen
• the brunette teen
• the dark-haired teen
• the tow-headed teen
• the taller teen
• the disheveled teen
• the green-eyed boy
• the scarred boy
• the gold-clad boy

• the inhibited boy
• the pale boy
• the fainting boy
• the smaller boy
• the naked, wet boy
• the supine boy
• the dark-haired boy
• the blond boy
• the blonde boy
• the drop dead gorgeous blonde boy
• the hairless boy
• the blasted boy
• the dark-haired man

• his lover
• his soon-to-be lover
• his panting lover

• his fair lover
• his teen lover

• the brat
• the obnoxious brat
• the annoying brat
• the adorable brat
• the little brat

• the impossible brat
• the insolent brat
• the stubborn brat
• the irritating prat

• the Quidditch enthusiast
• the seeker
• the Gryffindor seeker

• the wet seeker
• the sweaty seeker

• the Boy Who Lived
• the other man

• the normally laidback individual

• the demigod
• the self-styled King of Thieves
• the small fluffy blond
• the thief
• the blond
• the hunter

• the Golden Hunter
• the unkempt and habitually broke figure
• the little blond
• the golden warrior
• the ashen-faced hunter

• the Oldest Immortal
• the eldest Immortal
• the Oldest One
• the Highlander
• the man identified by the sobriquet "Highlander"
• the dark-haired Immortal

• the younger Immortal
• the doe-eyed Scot
• the Highlander
• the katana's owner
• the bronzed Scot
• the bilateral amputee

• the Elf
• the archer
• the Elven archer
• the long-fingered archer
• the Elven warrior
• the golden-haired Elf
• the blond Elf
• the beautiful Elf
• the Silvan Elf
• the blue-eyed Elf
• the silken-voiced Elf

• the tall Elf
• the willowly Elf
• the far-sighted Elf
• the Prince of Mirkwood
• the Elven princeling
• the Elven-King's son
• Thranduil's son
• the March-Warden
• the March-Warden of Lothlorien
• the aloof Elf
• the cool Elf

• the Elf Queen
• the Queen of the Golden Wood
• the Lady of Light
• the Queen of the Galadhrim

• the Noldorin Queen
• Finarfin's daughter
• Celeborn's Queen
• the last exile

• the twins
• the Elf twins
• the half-Elven twins
• the Peredhil twins

• the Sons of Elrond
• Elrond's sons
• the warrior twins

• Isildur's heir
• Elendil's heir
• Gondor's heir
• Anduril's master
• the former Ranger
• Envinyatar

• the Dunandan
• the Dunedain chieftain
• the steely-eyed Man
• the Numenorean
• Elrond's foster-son
• Arathorn's son

• the Elf Princess
• the Queen of Gondor
• Elessar's Queen

• the Evenstar
• Elrond's daughter

• the Wizard
• the Gray Wizard
• the Gray Pilgrim
• the Gray Wanderer
• the White Wizard

• the White Rider
• the cranky Wizard
• the kindly Wizard
• the wise Wizard
• the formerly Gray Wizard

• the Dwarf
• the long-bearded Dwarf

• the grumpy Dwarf
• Gloin's son (son of Gloin)

• the Third Marshal of the Mark
• the Marshal
• the exiled Marshal
• Eomund's son
• Theoden's foster-son

• the Rider of Rohan
• the Rohirrim [used incorrectly as a singular]
• the tall Rider
• Firefoot's rider

• the Steward
• the Steward's (Denethor's) son
• the Steward's (Denethor's)favorite
• the Steward's (Denethor's) firstborn
• the Steward's (Denethor's) heir

• the future Steward
• Gondor's greatest warrior
• the Captain-General of Gondor
• the Ithilien Ranger
• the Captain of the Rangers
• Boromir's (younger) brother
• the Prince of Ithilien

• the White Lady
• the Lady of Rohan
• the Princess of Ithilien

• the fair-haired shield maiden
• the Steward's wife
• Dernhelm [outside the proper context]

• the Three Runners
• the Three Hunters
• the thoughtful Man (Ranger)
• the intelligent Man (Ranger)

• the Man
• the Warrior
• the Ranger
• the gray-eyed Man

• the man in black
• the green-eyed man
• the dark-skinned man
• the dark clad man
• the gold-toothed man
• the Kid
• the leader
• the tracker
• the long haired, shy, tracker
• the sensitive tracker
• the sharpshooter
• the rifleman
• the gunslinger
• the blond gunslinger
• the hardened gunslinger
• the preacher
• the healer
• the con man
• the resident gambler and con man

• the gambler
• the glib, silver tongued gambler
• the scoundrel
• the ladies' man
• the bounty hunter
• the former bounty hunter
• the scrawny, shaggy, ex-bounty hunter
• the womanizer
• the former slave
• the greenhorn
• the southerner
• the breathless and less-than-immaculate southerner
• the Texan
• the peacekeepers
• the lawmen
• the regulators

• the ghostly pale form

• the new mother-to-be

• the tall man
• the suave man
• the tall, good-looking man

• the Prosecutor
• the debonair people's representative

• the brunette
• the blonde
• the younger one
• his newly-found boyfriend
• the curly-haired blonde

• the Italian
• the second youngest of the band
• the Mississippian
• the eighteen year old pregnant boy
• the lissome young popstar

• the ex-merc
• the ex-soldier
• the dark-haired man
• the blue-eyed man

• the ex-cop[per]
• the curly-haired man
• the green-eyed man

• the guide
• the Guide
• the kid
• the younger man
• the smaller man
• the determined young man
• the anthropologist
• the curly-haired anthropologist
• the easily aroused anthropologist
• the grad student
• The graduate student, police observer, and anthropologist
• the young detective (Blair)
• the good doctor (Blair)
• the police observer

• the sentinel
• the Sentinel
• the older man
• the bigger man
• the younger Ellison
• the detective
• the older detective
• the still, pale senior detective
• the cop
• the big cop
• the determined cop
• the balding man
• the distraught man
• the pale man

• the big African-American captain
• the large African-American captain
• his friend and captain
• the Cascade PD captain
• the PD captain
• the diminutive Asian housekeeper
• the Ellison Chinese housekeeper
• the tiny woman (Sally)

• the tall brunette (Megan)
• the elder Ellison (William)
• the retired businessman (William)
• the younger and smaller detective (Rafe)
• the other detective
• the taller man

• the bald billionaire
• the bald young man
• the teen
• the alien teen
• the blonde girl

• the blonde reporter
• the farmer
• the tall farmer
• the blond (or blonde, ugh) farmer
• the red-headed woman

• the archaeologist
• the linguist
• the colonel
• the USAF officer
• the grey-haired (man, colonel, USAF officer)

• the Jaffa
• the major
• the older Tau'ri
• the strapping young airman
• the Tau'ri
• the resident astrophysicist

• the telekinetic
• the former Weiss assassin
• the former Schwartz assassin
• the young Kritiker leader
• the cerulean-eyed man
• the Irishman
• the Irish assassin
• the Weiss redhead
• the Japanese ex-Kritiker agent
• the telepath
• both the natural redheads
• the younger psion

• the malefici bitch
• the violet-eyed man
• the German
• the fair-skinned assassin
• the red-haired German
• the blond Kritiker agent
• the American
• the man known as Oracle in Este
• the red-haired Weiss kitten
• the pale teen
• the rust-haired man
• the wine-haired Abyssinian

• the former Labor Secretary

• the FBI agent
• the AD
• the Assistant Director
• The tall older boy (Mulder)
• the blood-stained redhead
• the red-headed agent
• the handsome, flushed Deputy

• the big man
• the bald man
• the new 47-year-old (Skinner)
• the old fuddy-duddy (Skinner)
• the one-armed man
• the double agent
• the green-eyed agent